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The Allusionist

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A PODCAST ABOUT LANGUAGE
BY HELEN ZALTZMAN

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The Allusionist

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Allusionist 100. The Hundredth - transcript

May 27, 2019 The Allusionist
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Today there’ll be a celebratory parade of language-related facts that you’ve learned from the Allusionist and I’ve learned from making the Allusionist, so some old facts, some new facts - well, the new facts aren’t recently invented facts, they are established facts, just making their Allusionist debut.

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In transcript Tags words, language, linguistics, education, comedy, entertainment, society & culture, arts, literature, Helen Zaltzman, etymology, lexicon, bees, gender, sexism, Aristotle, girl, foot, lady, lord, bread, Charles Butler, beekeeping, queen bees, king bees, Old English, Latin, Old Norse, vocables, Toki Pona, invented languages, constructed languages, Lauren Marks, Eclipse, aphasia, dictionaries, dictionary, lexicography, lexicology, eponyms, screws, phillips head screws, cross head screws, plus screws, minus screws, patents, inventions, mountweazels, Henry F Phillips, robertson screws, frearson screws, saxophone, Adolphe Sax, names, acronyms, IUD, g-spot, inventors, sideburns, NASA, TLAs, initialisms, prescriptivism, descriptivism, Skin Project, tattoos, mince, bench, please, step, stepmother, stepchild, stepfather, stepfamily, psychology, CBT, cognitive behavioural therapy, Jane Gregory, seance, portmanteau, portmanteaus, portmanteaux, endorphin, Tanzania, electrocution, log in, velcro, zazzification, pronouns, they, pith, singular they, namaste, orange, curses, Bath, curse tablets, pelvis, c-word, c-bomb, swears, swearing, profanity, penis, vagina, deniance, denial, Oulipo, halcyon, Ancient Greek, mythology, myths, legends, Alcyone, Ceyx, birds, kingfishers, halcyon days, Polari, Barnet, vogue, French, Welsh Patagonia, Welsh, Argentina, Wales, radish, radical, poll, hair, ballot, ball, politics, voting, elections, nice, Amazon, brands, brand names, trust, emoji, Victorians, Christmas cards, Winterval, slang, arseropes, halteres, Earlonne Woods, Ear Hustle, survival

Allusionist 99. Polari - transcript

May 13, 2019 The Allusionist
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HZ: In 1982, Princess Anne, the second child of the Queen of England, Olympic Equestrian, is competing at the Badminton Horse Trials.

PAUL BAKER: She's jumping over all these obstacles and oops, she slips and falls in the water off an obstacle. And all of the photographers rush forward to take a photograph, and she tells them to "naff off". Or "naff orf".
HZ: She's not allowed to drop an F-bomb really, she's a royal.
PAUL BAKER: No, but 'naff' was a Polari word.

HZ: Polari. Just a couple of decades before, it would have been unthinkable that someone like Princess Anne would have used a Polari word, or that she would even have known one.

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In transcript Tags words, language, linguistics, education, comedy, entertainment, society & culture, arts, literature, Helen Zaltzman, etymology, lexicography, Polari, slang, argot, lingua franca, secret, secrecy, code, Cant, camp, drag, criminals, decriminalisation, LGBTQ, history, gay, gay culture, homosexuality, 1950s, 1960s, 1970s, 20th century, BBC, Mary Whitehouse, Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, Julian and Sandy, Kenneth Horne, Kenneth Williams, Hugh Paddick, sex, Round the Horne, innuendo, Italian, Parlyaree, London, Britain, police, gender, dating, Princess Anne, Princess Royal, royals, West End, East End, clobber, zhoozh, cline, navy, merchant navy, Americanisms, queer, queer history

Allusionist 98. Alter Ego - transcript

April 27, 2019 The Allusionist
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Today: three pieces about alter egos, when your name - the words by which the world knows you - is replaced by another for particular purposes.

  • How did John Doe come to be the name for a man, alive or dead, identity unknown or concealed in a legal matter? Strap in for a whirlwind ride into some frankly batshit centuries-old English law.

  • At their first bout of the 2019 season, the London Roller Girls talk about how they chose their roller derby names - or why they chose to get rid of one.

  • The 1930s and 40s were a golden age for detective fiction, which was also very popular and lucrative. Yet writing it was disreputable enough for authors to hide behind pseudonyms.

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In transcript Tags words, language, linguistics, education, comedy, entertainment, society & culture, arts, literature, Helen Zaltzman, etymology, lexicography, alter egos, embouchure, John Doe, Jane Doe, Mary Major, Richard Roe, law, legal, history, legal history, anonymity, anonymous, pseudonyms, names, ejectment, property, tenants, land, placeholder names, court case, courtroom, British law, plaintiffs, defendants, Ancient Rome, Romans, Latin, NN, Numerius Negidius, Aulus Agerius, JK Rowling, dead bodies, corpses, unknown, unidentified, Roe v Wade, Doe v Bolton, skating, roller derby, puns, punning, jokes, wordplay, sports, sport, London Roller Girls, LRG, Beyonce, Sasha Fierce, athletes, fonts, Helvetica, novels, fiction, detective fiction, Caroline Crampton, mystery novels, swears, Cecil Day-Lewis, Agatha Christie, Nicholas Blake, pen names, Robert Galbraith, Shedunnit, Detection Club, snobbery, genres, Elena Ferrante, unmasking, Mary Westmacott, books, married names, Max Mallowan

Allusionist 97. The Future is Now? - transcript

April 11, 2019 The Allusionist
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ROSE EVELETH: I couldn't say this to most people, but you probably understand getting obsessed with a phrase, where you're like, "What is this thing that we say that is weird?" And the one that I've been obsessed with for a while is "The future is now".

HZ: This is Rose Eveleth. She makes the podcast Flash Forward, about how certain scenarios might play out in the future. Which may or may not be now.

ROSE EVELETH: I tend to use it most ironically, where like you see something dumb with technology and you're like "Oh, the future is now!" "Oh, an Internet-connected toaster - the future is now!"
HZ: “Social network for dogs!”
ROSE EVELETH: Exactly. Right. And other people I think use it much more straightforwardly, and much more non-ironically, which is like, "Oh, things are happening so quickly. The future is upon us. Things are changing really rapidly. The future is always happening right in front of us. Technology is amazing." There are two ways to say "the future is now": you can say it optimistically, you could be like, "the future is now! Isn't that cool?" Or you could be like, "the future is now, and we're totally screwed.”
I have a tweetdeck column that is just for that phrase "the future is now", just to watch what people are saying. "School buses with Wi-Fi. The future is now". The U.S. Forest Service,

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In transcript Tags words, language, linguistics, education, comedy, entertainment, society & culture, arts, literature, Helen Zaltzman, etymology, lexicography, Rose Eveleth, Flash Forward, technology, futurism, future, the future is now, phrases, sayings, adages, General Motors, 1960s, 1950s, flying cars, jetpack, futurists, jokes, innovation, invention, Christianity, internet, 20th century, history, end of the world, industry, Industrial Revolution, Victorians, industrialisation, future shock, progress, passage of time, almacantar, advances, tomorrow

Allusionist 96. Trust - transcript

March 20, 2019 The Allusionist
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RACHEL BOTSMAN: I always know when a word is having its moment in the sun when big conferences, it becomes the theme at the conference, or I get slightly nervous when you start to see it as the tag line in really big commercial brands because it's a word that's starting to become co-opted and commercialised, because people go, "Oh, it's resonating with a lot of people.” It's not a brand. Trust isn't a brand that you should use. It's a social glue that when it breaks down, it has really huge consequences to our lives. When terms become so broad that they lose their meaning, they become completely diluted. And this is actually my fear around trust right now, is that it's become the word of the moment that is being used in so many different contexts that are we actually diluting something? One of the most important words we have in the human language, that is so fundamental to our relationships, that are we taking the meaning and importance out of it by its overuse?

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In transcript Tags words, language, linguistics, education, comedy, entertainment, society & culture, arts, literature, Helen Zaltzman, etymology, lexicography, Rachel Botsman, trust, trustworthy, confidence, con artists, influence, influencers, influenza, flu, business, online, technology, web, internet, TripAdvisor, Airbnb, Amazon, reviews, ostracism, ostrakon, machines, bots, voices, gender, virtual assistants, smart homes, Alexa, Siri, Cortana, belief, credulity, fake, lies, deceit, deception, Project Q, apologies, sorry, apologising, faith, innovation, authenticity, manipulators, manipulation

Allusionist 95. Verisimilitude - transcript

March 6, 2019 The Allusionist
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HZ: Approximately how many languages have you invented at this point?
DAVID PETERSON: I think I've invented over 50 languages at this point. Not all of them are very large in terms of vocabulary size, and not all of them are very good. I had created about 17 before I ever started working on Game of Thrones.

HZ: The languages you hear in Game of Thrones: Dothraki -

[CLIP] Khal Drogo: “Moon of my life, are you hurt?”

HZ - the various dialects of Valyrian:

CLIP: Daenerys: “Valyrian is my mother tongue.”

HZ: - those aren’t the actors making up some gibberish. Those are functional languages, with large vocabularies and complex grammars and etymologies.

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In transcript Tags words, language, linguistics, education, comedy, entertainment, society & culture, arts, literature, Helen Zaltzman, etymology, lexicography, Dothraki, Valyrian, Game of Thrones, George RR Martin, HBO, TV, television, adaptations, books, novels, fiction, fantasy, movies, conlang, conlangers, constructed languages, language creation, neologisms, invented languages, created languages, sf, science fiction, Esperanto, David Peterson, grammar, a priori, a postieri, i-mutation, Old English, Anglo-Saxon, mouse, mice, mouses, vowels, vowel shift, phonology, spelling, morphology, pronunciation, natural languages, naturalistic, evolution, phonetics, phonemes, vocabulary, metaphors, idioms, irregularities, khaleesi, Emilia Clarke, actors, acting, translation, translating, verbs, nouns, plurals

Allusionist 94. Harsh Realm - transcript

February 21, 2019 The Allusionist
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MEGAN JASPER: I was the lucky recipient of a telephone call from the New York Times in the early 90s when they were writing a huge piece on Seattle, and they wanted to focus on the grunge lexicon. They wanted terms and phrases and words that we all used in the music scene; words and phrases that you would only know if you are part of the Seattle music scene.

HZ: On 15 November 1992, the New York Times printed an article entitled ‘Grunge - A Success Story’, about how grunge had become the latest big thing - ‘from subculture to mass culture’, as the article put it. In the preceding couple of years, the Seattle music scene had been co-opted by the mainstream, and by this point, record labels were putting stickers on album covers saying ‘Seattle’; just a couple of weeks before the NYT article, Marc Jacobs caused a stir in the fashion industry when he showed his grunge collection for Perry Ellis, after which he both won an award and was fired; Vogue printed a ‘Grunge & Glory’ fashion spread; and Kurt Cobain was photographed wearing a T-shirt printed with ‘grunge is dead’, in case you were wondering whether everyone was pleased with all these developments. And chasing the zeitgeist before it dipped below the horizon, there was the New York Times.

“When did grunge become grunge?’ the first paragraph went. “How did a five-letter word meaning dirt, filth, trash become synonymous with a musical genre, a fashion statement, a pop phenomenon?”

Immediately, you notice an error: ‘grunge’ is a six-letter word, not a five-letter word. But that’s just your warm-up error; don’t peak too early.

Read on, and there’s a sidebar entitled “Lexicon of Grunge: Breaking the Code”, “coming soon to a high school or mall near you”. And there followed a list of grunge slang terms.

bloated, big bag of bloatation – drunk
bound-and-hagged – staying home on Friday or Saturday night
harsh realm – bummer
plats – platform shoes
score – great

Not familiar with any of these terms? No. Nor was anybody.

MEGAN JASPER: What they didn't realize is that no such language really existed. And so I decided to have a little bit of fun with it.

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In transcript Tags words, language, linguistics, education, comedy, entertainment, society & culture, arts, literature, Helen Zaltzman, etymology, lexicography, music, records, record labels, Seattle, Pacific Northwest, history, USA, America, music industry, rock music, rock, genres, music genres, Nirvana, Mudhoney, Screaming Trees, Pearl Jam, 1990s, nineties, Gen X, media, trends, grunge, grungy, Megan Jasper, Jonathan Poneman, Kurt Cobain, New York Times, NYT, hoaxes, jokes, pranks, grunge hoax, fake languages, invented languages, fake, Washington, Alice in Chains, Mark Lanegan, journalism, fact-checking, press, magazines, newspapers

Allusionist 93. Gossip - transcript

February 6, 2019 The Allusionist
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HZ: A thousand or so years ago, the word ‘gossip’ meant something quite different: a family member. The word broke down to ‘god sibb’, like a godsibling, although then the ‘sibb’ wasn’t necessarily a sibling, was more general, could refer to anyone you were related to. And over the next few hundred years, more specifically, gossips were the close female family and friends who would attend to a woman during labour; she would be sequestered and maybe half a dozen gossips would gather in the room to take care of the mother and help deliver the baby and witness the birth for the purposes of the baby’s baptism - at which these gossips, godsibbs, would be the child’s sponsors. And during these confinements, the women would keep each other company and talk. So you can see how the word would evolve to mean the kind of confidential chat you’d have with someone you’re close to, but by the mid-16th century the word had taken on a bit of a disapproving tone, that the talk was trivial and maybe scurrilous - and female. And these associations persist to this day.

LAINEY LUI: One of my goals as a gossip crusader is to end the pejorative way it's presented in culture, that it's a thing that hens do all around, pecking at each other. It's highly feminized, which is why it's not taken as seriously, when in fact the research shows that we all gossip: it's a human way of communicating.

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In transcript Tags words, language, linguistics, education, comedy, entertainment, society & culture, arts, literature, Helen Zaltzman, etymology, lexicography, gossip, women, woman, female, feminine, birth, childbirth, relations, family, godsibb, siblings, Anne Helen Petersen, Elaine Lui, Lainey Lui, Lainey Gossip, celebrities, stars, Hollywood, press, journalism, magazines, tabloids, newspapers, TV, movies, film, whisper network

Allusionist 92. To Err Is Human - transcript

January 23, 2019 The Allusionist
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SUSIE DENT: There never has been a golden age when everything was as it should be ever. Even though we tend to think that English is now at its most dumbed down, always; I think every generation has thought that.

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In transcript Tags umpire, bears, jerusalem artichoke, freelance, arse ropes, zounds, mistakes, English, sayings, language, swearing, eggcorns, profanity, lick into shape, debt, Countdown, Old English, plumber, linguistics, swears, comedy, Helen Zaltzman, lexicography, expressions, entertainment, anagrams, literature, shamefaced, Latin, cusses, education, hangnail, euphemisms, Jiminy Cricket, arts, curry favour, favor, errors, history, etymology, gadzooks, doubt, nickname, society & culture, Middle English, jeepers creepers, malaphors, jerusalem artichokes, buttonholing, dord, Susie Dent, words, cherries, lexicographers, secretary

2018 Extra Special QUIZ! - interactive transcript

December 18, 2018 The Allusionist
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For a bit of fun to celebrate Radiotopia’s 2018 fundraiser, this episode is a wordy quiz for you to play along with as you listen.

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In Radiotopia, call to action, episodes Tags words, language, linguistics, education, comedy, entertainment, society & culture, arts, literature, Helen Zaltzman, Avery Trufelman, Articles of Interest, Roman Mars, 99% Invisible, 99PI, Nate DiMeo, The Memory Palace, Benjamen Walker, Benjamen Walker’s Theory of Everything, Hrishikesh Hirway, Song Exploder, The West Wing Weekly, Jen Poyant, Manoush Zomorodi, ZigZag, Jonathan Mitchell, The Truth, Radio Diaries, Joe Richman, podcast, podcasts, podcasters, quiz, questions, eponyms, history, etymology, phrases, idioms, animals, hedgehogs, turkey, urchins, botulism, sausage, Latin, i, tittle, diacritics, Bible, euphemisms, foot, aglet, clothing, shoes, shoelaces, fashion, garb, garments, apparel, clothing terminology, terminology, diseases, medieval, castles, toilets, WC, garderobe, wardrobe, clothes, bathroom, ammonia, hygiene, faeces, waste disposal, evacuations, bodily functions, mistranslation, Vulgate Bible, dogs, feist, feisty, fart, meat, cold shoulder, expressions, Pogs, juice, Hawaii, passion fruit orange and guava, POG, turkeys, Turkey, poultry, names, imports, Aztecs, India, trade, Peru, geography, New World, Christopher Columbus, horror, burpees, exercises, exercise, physical exertion, George Washington Gale Ferris Jr, Ferris wheels, pleasure wheels, inventions, strongmen, World’s Fair, zeppelins, Led Zeppelin, Ferdinand von Zeppelin, bands, music, name changes, lawsuits, fur, fabric, felt, cloth, Stetson, hats, John B. Stetson, genitalia, genitals, penis, Radiotopian guest appearance

Allusionist 91. Bonus 2018 - transcript

December 14, 2018 The Allusionist
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Today’s episode is the annual bonus Allusionist, featuring outtakes from some of this year’s guests saying things that were not necessarily related to the topic of the original episode, or even related to language at all, but I thought, “Hmm! Interesting!” and filed them away until THIS MOMENT.

This is not a typical episode of the Allusionist, so if this is your first time here, welcome! And do try a few different episodes of the show to get a picture. This year there have been episodes about your names, and superhero names; about how swearing can be good for your health, and so can novels; about tattoos, and typing champions; about how the drive to survive sent the Welsh language across an ocean, and the Scots language to hide at home; and many more. Thanks so much for spending time with me over 2018.

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In transcript Tags words, language, linguistics, education, comedy, entertainment, society & culture, arts, literature, Helen Zaltzman, Haggard Hawks, Paul Anthony Jones, Glen Weldon, PCHH, Pop Culture Happy Hour, Guy Cuthbertson, Jane Gregory, Nancy podcast, WNYC, Tobin Low, Kathy Tu, Hrishikesh Hirway, Song Exploder, TWWW, West Wing Weekly, cross stitch, Charlotte’s Web, WWI, World War One, First World War, nudism, naturism, trenches, class, war, warfare, comics, comic books, superheroes, capes, costumes, kennedy, burke, murder, London, history, historical, slang, spiders, spider phobia, arachnophobia, psychology, therapy, fiction, exposure therapy, fear, gigs, music, gig, jobs, work, transport, carriages, boats, whirligig, Tuesday, gods, musicians, bonus, convalescence, nudist camps, simple life, eponyms, gore, coventry, Britain, British, 19th century, crimes, parliament, Charles II, Duke of Monmouth, John Coventry, politics, politicians, felonies, felony, horses, bands, carts, 20th century, jazz, trapeze artists, trends, bonus episode

Allusionist 90. Dear Santa - transcript

December 1, 2018 The Allusionist
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JIM GLAUB: To be honest, these letters have been coming in as long as I've lived in that Chelsea apartment. And even before that, the gentleman that lived before us had been getting the letters, only about four or five a year. And then they had told me that the guys before them had been getting the letters.

HZ: This is Jim Glaub. He and his husband Dylan Parker were living in an apartment on West 22nd St in Manhattan. And every year, these letters would arrive there, addressed... to Santa.

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In transcript Tags words, language, linguistics, education, comedy, entertainment, society & culture, arts, literature, Helen Zaltzman, Christmas, Xmas, festive, letters, writing, Santa, Santa Claus, Father Christmas, St Nicholas, gifts, presents, giving, Jim Glaub, Dylan Parker, Miracle on 22nd Street, NYC, New York City, Manhattan, Chelsea, Clement Clarke Moore, reindeer, A Visit from St Nicholas, poems

Allusionist 89. WPM - transcript

November 16, 2018 The Allusionist
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The Guinness world record for typing speed was held by the late Barbara Blackburn. There are two kinds of typing contests: sprints, and marathons. And Barbara was a champion of both: During minute-long speed tests, Barbara could type up to 170 wpm on typewriter or, on a computer, 212 words per minute.

MARTIN AUSTWICK: 212 words per minute

HZ: And in endurance tests she could type 150wpm for 50 minutes.

MARTIN AUSTWICK: 150 words per minute, for 50 minutes

HZ: To show off her world record-breaking achievement, in 1985 Barbara was invited onto the David Letterman show, to race against the fastest typist on Letterman show staff - also called Barbara. But Barbara Blackburn sabotaged the contest.

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In transcript Tags words, language, linguistics, education, comedy, entertainment, society & culture, arts, literature, Helen Zaltzman, Allusionist live, live performance, live recording, keyboards, typewriters, computers, typing, typists, typing speed, speed typing, WPM, words per minute, Martin Austwick, Guinness World Records, record breakers, champions, typing competitions, competitive typing, competitions, Birdie Reeve, vaudeville, Rose Fritz, Marcellus Wiley, NFL, football, Dvorak Simplified Keyboard, QWERTY, Madison Square Garden, Columbo, cellphones, mobile phones, Spy, spies, reality TV, loggers, logging, TV, jobs, work, back sack and crack waxes, August Dvorak

Allusionist 88. Name Changers - transcript

November 2, 2018 The Allusionist
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I changed my name because my parents spelled it wrong.

Why did I change my name? I didn't like it!

I have legally changed my name twice now, first and last. My parents tell this cute story about choosing my name the night before I was born. But as I was growing up, it was one of the most common names for female dogs.

I found out when I was about 12 that I was actually named for an actress that my dad had had a crush on when he was a kid, so I thought that was a bit weird and I didn't really want to hang on to that.

When I was born my parents could not agree on a name for me, and on their last day in the hospital after I was born they were watching the news and there was a missing children's report on the TV with a little girl named Ashleigh, and I was named after her.

Choosing a new name allowed me to drop a lot of the old baggage with the old identity without feeling as though I were betraying it.

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In transcript Tags words, language, linguistics, education, comedy, entertainment, society & culture, arts, literature, Helen Zaltzman, names, naming, Name Season, monikers, feelings, identity, culture, name change, changing name, gender, trans, transgender, transition, non binary, dead name, doxxing, relationships, parents, family, father, mother, childhood, children

Allusionist 87. Name v Law - transcript

October 19, 2018 The Allusionist
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JÓN GNARR: I had a daughter in 92, and she was named Camilla after her grandmother, it was Camilla with a C, spelled with a C. And so when I got the confirmation note from the National Registry, where they tell you that your child is now named something in the registry, they had spelled her name with a K. It's confirmed that the child Kamilla Jónssdóttir, blah blah blah. And I called them, because it was spelled with a C, and I just wanted to tell them it was a misunderstanding, my daughter's name is spelled with a C and she said yeah, wait, and I waited on the line and then she came back and she said no, it's no misunderstanding: C has been banned in the Icelandic alphabet.
HZ: C has been banned??
JÓN GNARR: C was banned. Yeah.

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In transcript Tags words, language, linguistics, education, comedy, entertainment, society & culture, arts, literature, Helen Zaltzman, names, naming, Name Season, monikers, feelings, identity, culture, Iceland, Icelandic, Scandinavia, Denmark, Nordic, immigrants, immigration, Icelandic Naming Committee, Jon Gnarr, laws, legal, law, name change, changing name, migration, Althingi, Mannanafnanefnd
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