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The Allusionist

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A PODCAST ABOUT LANGUAGE
BY HELEN ZALTZMAN

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The Allusionist

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Allusionist 232. Vega transcript

August 25, 2026 The Allusionist
a boggle grid spelling out the word 'vega'

KORY STAMPER: You say, “I write dictionaries,” and people go, “Oh!” and then they immediately tell you all the words they hate. And ‘moist’ is always at the top of the list. “Oh, I hate moist. It's so gross.” And like, if you wanna go find the studies that have been written on why people don't like the combination of sounds that result in the word moist, you can; but I just think sometimes moist is the word you need to use. And so just to be petty, I would just make it a more prominent word.

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In transcript Tags language, words, lexicon, synonyms, linguistics, linguists, Lauren Gawne, Lingthusiasm, Alex Ketchum, Hrishikesh Hirway, Samin Nosrat, Home Cooking, Kory Stamper, LGBTQIA, queer, bisexual, pansexual, bisexual erasure, vegetarian, vegan, pescatarian, flexitarian, bugbears, pronouns, moist, stalling words, we, clusivity, evidentiality, fadge

Allusionist 231. Lingthusionist transcript

July 13, 2026 The Allusionist
An assembly of the logos for the podcasts The Allusionist and Lingthusiasm. Lingthusiasm's is green with white symbol, a sweeping curved line like the shape of an ear. The Allusionist logo is a Boggle set spelling out The Allusionist

LAUREN GAWNE: Verbs are intimidating.

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In transcript Tags language, words, linguistics, linguists, Lauren Gawne, Lingthusiasm, podcasting, podcasts, reality TV, television, logging, typing, typists, The Salon, Spy, WPM, fieldwork, data, food poisoning, academia, verbs, parts of speech, chalicothere

Allusionist 223. Bonus Bits 2025 transcript

January 16, 2026 The Allusionist
A Boggle set spells out the words 'bonus 2025'

Dinosaur mouths and dinosaur poop, psychedelic plants, feminist cookbooks, and taking a class in profanity.

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In transcript Tags words, history, etymology, Alex Ketchum, Martin Austwick, So Mayer, Hannah McGregor, Kelly Elizabeth Wright, Nicole Holliday, feminism, feminists, cookbooks, cookery, food, cooking, recipes, Bloodroot, cake, psychoactive, drugs, poison, plants, hens, wave, witches, fear, shame, mistakes, WOTY, Word of the Year, American Dialect Society, enshittification, rawdog, mouths, Monstrous Feminine, cunt, cunty, serving cunt, Jurassic Park, dinosaurs, Laura Dern, poop, Jeff Goldblum, research, Ian Malcolm, academia, films, movies, profanity, linguistics, minced oaths, swearing, swears, bullshit, ASL, sign language, gesture, bonus, bonus bits, glaucous

Allusionist 173 Death transcript

March 24, 2023 The Allusionist

EVIE KING: I mean, if I was to google synonyms of ‘dead’ - let's try that. Synonyms, ‘dead’. See what comes up. ‘Deceased.’

HZ: ‘Deceased’ is just Latin for death.

EVIE KING: ‘Late’, ‘lost’, ‘lamented’...

HZ: ‘Lamented’! 

EVIE KING: ‘Expired’ - expired! Like a cheese. ‘Departed’. ‘Gone’. ‘No more. ‘Fallen. ‘Slain’. Now you're starting to infer causes of death. ‘Slaughtered’, ‘killed’ - see, it escalates quickly. There’s not much, there's not much is there?

HZ: Which is odd considering how much death there is everywhere for everyone.

EVIE KING: Yeah, you get more, more synonyms for very boring words, don't you, very workaday words. I think basically maybe it comes down to the fact that dead is dead and we all know what that means, universally dead is dead, and there's no getting away from it, there's no escaping it and there's no getting around it. So we just have to face that word and use it. And if we don't feel like saying dead, we'll just go “passed away”. 

HZ: Maybe that's the thing: maybe we don't need new vocabulary yet until we've learnt to get comfortable with ‘dead’.

EVIE KING: And then we can start really jazzing it up. Creating fun terms! Like, you know, when you get things like ‘bottomless brunch’ - that kind of thing for ‘dead’. I think we all know we've arrived when we've got a jazzy snazzy word for ‘dead’. 

HZ: Something to look forward to.

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In episodes Tags etymology, Helen Zaltzman, words, language, linguistics, education, society & culture, arts, literature, lexicon, vocabulary, history, death, died, dead, grief, passed, bereavement, bereft, Cariad Lloyd, Evie King, funerals, posthumous, anticipatory grief, admin, paperwork, eulogy, platitudes, Sweden, Swedish, wills, bum-bailiff

Allusionist 172 A Brief History of Brazilian Portuguese transcript

March 9, 2023 The Allusionist

CAETANO GALINDO: Brazilians are very confused and confusing and confounding about this relationship with the Portuguese language, because it defines us. We are the place that speaks Portuguese in the middle of a whole bunch of Spanish-speaking countries, and pretty much all of us speak it. And pretty much all of us speak only this one language. It's really something that defines us, and really something that we cannot try to deny or erase or… I don't know. But at the same time, you have this certainty that this was an imposed reality, that this is not what we could have.

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In transcript Tags words, language, linguistics, education, society & culture, arts, literature, lexicon, vocabulary, history, telling other stories, Caetano Galindo, Brazil, Brasileiro, Brazilian, Portuguese, Portugal, Black history, slavery, enslaved African people, Transatlantic slave trade, slave owners, white supremacy, indigenous languages, línguas gerais, lingua franca, oppressed languages, South America, Latin, colonisation, Nheengatu, Caetano Veloso, ladino, locorestive

Allusionist 171 Supplantation transcript

February 24, 2023 The Allusionist

HZ: How do you feel when you have to tell someone your address?
LYLA WHEELER: I feel uncomfortable, like, why am I writing this? Why am I talking about this?
KRISTIN DALEY: I feel the same way. I'm mortified.

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In Telling Other Stories, transcript Tags words, language, linguistics, society & culture, history, telling other stories, renaming, problematic, racism, anti-Black racism, Canada, Canadian History, London, Ontario, eponyms, Ryerson, Egerton Ryerson, schools, campaigns, petition, American history, Black history, slavery, enslaved African people, Transatlantic slave trade, slave owners, white supremacy, Josiah Henson, plantation, plantations, roads, streets, street names, towns, Toronto, Toronto Metropolitan University, Dundas Street, Indigenous Canadians, residential schools, Jamaica, local government, council, policy, addresses, zonda

Allusionist 169 The Box transcript

January 28, 2023 The Allusionist

SUBHADRA DAS: A guy from the UCL estates team, screwdriver, took the plaque off the wall.
HZ: That's it?
SUBHADRA DAS: That's how you dename a building. It's not difficult.

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In Telling Other Stories, transcript Tags words, language, linguistics, education, society & culture, arts, literature, lexicon, vocabulary, telling other stories, renaming, names, eponyms, problematic, science eponyms, science, scientific, Subhadra Das, Martin Austwick, Trinity College Dublin, TCD, University College London, UCL, Dublin, London, university, college, buildings, honours, honors, eugenics, racism, Erwin Schrödinger, Karl Pearson, Francis Galton, Schrödinger’s cat, Schrödinger’s equation, theories, quantum mechanics, physics, genetics, moon, Nobel Prize, light, waves, quantum, quantum wave function, Louis de Broglie, Arthur Lunn, Albert Einstein, theory of relativity, many worlds theory, Hugh Everett, Mark Everett, Eels, museums, Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle, Heisenberg, quadrivium

Allusionist 168 Debuts transcript

January 13, 2023 The Allusionist

HZ: The work that RFSU does has included, over the past three decades, coming up with new terms, to fill gaps in the vocabulary or provide more options for talking about sex and bodies.

KALLE ROCKLINGER: Sometimes it's to highlight or make something visible that's not been really talked about. Sometimes it's to change norms in society in some ways, and sometimes it's been sort of a really strategic choice for us in our political work to refuse a certain term or way of describing things, to tell another story, so to speak.

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In transcript, Telling Other Stories Tags words, language, linguistics, education, society & culture, arts, literature, lexicon, vocabulary, etymology, telling other stories, renaming, names, neologisms, Kalle Rocklinger, bodies, body parts, sex, sexuality, sex education, genitalia, genitals, Sweden, Swedish, RFSU, snippa, snopp, vulva, vagina, penis, virginity, sex debut, onanism, Onan, Anna Kosztovics, hymen, vaginal corona, slidkrans, masturbation, consent, rape, law, deflower, dittography, klittra, snipa, Telling Other Stories

Allusionist 167 Bonus 2022 transcript

December 16, 2022 The Allusionist

TIM CLARE: Hippocampus, meaning ‘horse’ because it looks like a a sea horse, right? …Oh, don't look at them! They look absolutely terrifying!
HZ: I I've never seen a hippocampus, so I don't know. 
TIM CLARE: There is a real David Cronenberg-like element to them.

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In transcript Tags words, language, linguistics, education, society & culture, arts, literature, lexicon, vocabulary, etymology, history, Stephanie Foo, Morenike Giwa Onaiwu, Tim Clare, Jing Tsu, Hannah McGregor, Jolenta Greenberg, Kristen Meinzer, Lewis Raven Wallace, Charlotte Lydia Riley, brain, mental heath, autism, ASD, neurodiverse, almonds, tonsils, Little Women, Louisa May Allcott, sentiment, sentimentality, British Empire, empire, revisionism, nostalgia, transcription, transcripts, therapy, psychology, Chinese, wordplay, protest, homophones, grass mud horse, censorship, Judy Singer, neurotypical, journalism, migrants, migration, bias, historians, Second World War, World War Two, books, novels, Jo March, What Katy Did, Susan Coolidge, Rebecca, hack, life hacks, computing, programming, allistic, amygdala, hippocampus, life hack, neuro- neurodiversity, washin, worry, bonus, bonus episode

Allusionist 166 Fiona part 2 transcript

December 5, 2022 The Allusionist

HARRY JOSIE GILES: I don't think that anyone should come away from this conversation not wanting to use the name Fiona. I think this is a beautiful and rich history. It might not be quite the history that you imagined, but I think it's a beautiful history.

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In transcript Tags words, language, linguistics, education, society & culture, arts, literature, lexicon, vocabulary, etymology, history, Harry Josie Giles, Moll Heaton-Callaway, Fiona, Fiona Macleod, William Sharp, Elizabeth Sharp, Wilfion, Willfion, Scotland, Scottish, Gaelic, Celtic Revival, Celtic, Celticism, Highlands, Lowlands, Flora, Ffion, Fionnuala, Finn, white, poetry, novels, letters, correspondence, handwriting, LGBTQIA+, pseudonyms, alter egos, trans, gender, gender fluidity, authors, publishing, writers, writing, colonisation, colonial, cultural appropriation, authenticity, James Macpherson, Tales of Ossian, translation, myths, Irish, names, boats, Sharon Krossa, Caledonian Antisyzygy, Wikipedia, hyperbaton

Allusionist 163 Rhino Borked Guy transcript

October 22, 2022 The Allusionist

"Better to elect a rhino than an ass.”

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In transcript Tags words, language, linguistics, education, comedy, society & culture, arts, literature, lexicon, vocabulary, etymology, history, entertainment, eponyms, Brazil, Rio de Janeiro, Sao Paulo, rhinoceros, Cacareco, elections, politics, political, votes, voting, protest vote, power, democracy, zoos, Richard Nixon, Pigasus, Republicans, Democrats, mule, Canada, Rhinoceros Party, English history, Tudors, Jacobean, guy, Guy Fawkes, Gunpowder Plot, Reformation, Protestant, Catholic, Catholicism, Church of England, religion, England, Henry VIII, pope, divorce, Elizabeth I, James I, kings, queens, monarchy, parliament, Roman Mars, Helen Zaltzman, bonfire, Bonfire Night, fireworks, 5 November, Robert Catesby, oppression, names, treason, conspiracy, gunpowder, explosives, weapons, molotov cocktail, Vyacheslav Molotov, Soviet Union, USSR, Russia, Finland, Supreme Court, USA, American history, Ronald Reagan, Robert Bork, Joe Biden, Ted Kennedy, Gerald Ford, Watergate, disinformation, propaganda, Roe v Wade, bork, borked, computers, DoggoLingo, civil rights, originalism, constitution, kype

Allusionist 162 Self-Help transcript

October 7, 2022 The Allusionist

JOLENTA GREENBERG: One of the main things a lot of these books like to do is remind you how bad you are at the beginning. Just like a pickup artist, there will be a chapter or two sort of negging you, or being like, “You know you're lazy about this.” A lot of books make you admit - some even make you write down all the areas like you're failing in or not putting 100% into, and so you literally will have a list sometimes of reasons why you suck. And then they're like, “And now I have the answers!” And it's like, “But you made me make up these problems in the first place.” So they like to dig you in a hole and then be like, “I can dig you out, too.”

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In transcript Tags words, language, linguistics, education, comedy, society & culture, arts, literature, lexicon, vocabulary, etymology, history, entertainment, personal, emotion, emotional, books, f19th century, self-help, self-improvement, self-determination, self esteem, self, advice, By the Book, Kristen Meinzer, Jolenta Greenberg, Benjamin Franklin, Samuel Smiles, manifesting, manipulation, wellness, weight loss, dieting, diet industry, diet culture, fatphobia, sizeism, doctor, stoics, forgiveness, spitchcock, mental health, psychology

Allusionist 161 Sentiment transcript

September 23, 2022 The Allusionist

SANDHYA DIRKS: When we talk about empathy: the idea that you can get outside of yourself, that we can imagine someone else's experience is so audacious, because human beings are not that freaking imaginative. I mean, like a unicorn is just a horse with a horn! We did not go that far to get to our most magical creature. We just like grafted two things on top of each other.

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In transcript Tags words, language, linguistics, education, comedy, society & culture, arts, literature, lexicon, vocabulary, etymology, history, entertainment, stories, story, storytelling, audio, personal, emotion, emotional, feelings, empathy, empathetic, sympathy, sentiment, sentimentality, kindness, be kind, Julia Furlan, Sandhya Dirks, Hannah McGregor, novels, books, fiction, genre, journalism, 18th century, 19th century, imperative, immanent, complexity, audience, manipulation, Bible, parables, allegory, trauma, death, Queen Elizabeth II, the Queen, tropes, thoughtstoppers, meat, unicorns

Allusionist 160 Coward transcript

September 10, 2022 The Allusionist

TIM CLARE: Calling someone a coward historically has often been a social lever used by the state to shame them for not doing something the state wants them to do - often walk into machine gunfire. Which, to me, doesn't seem like an act of cowardice to not want to do that.

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In transcript Tags words, language, linguistics, education, comedy, society & culture, arts, literature, lexicon, vocabulary, etymology, history, entertainment, psychology, personality, mental health, Tim Clare, coward, cowardice, anxiety, anxious, fear, tail, lions, heraldry, angst, anger, military, WW1, First World War, executions, death, soldiers, Britain, shell shock, shame, PTSD, trauma, Napoleon III, India, Raj, seagulls, Proto-Indo-European, PIE, Ancient Greek, Latin, cows, dogs, traits, terrific, awesome, tremendous, Bible, angels, magic bullet, silver bullet, werewolves, medical, zauberkugel, Magneto, coda, cue, hangnail, queue, quinsy, quakebuttock, yips

Allusionist 156 Rainbow Washing transcript

June 10, 2022 The Allusionist

HZ: The British supermarket M&S made an LGBT sandwich, which is lettuce, guacamole bacon, and tomato.

MITRA KABOLI: That sounds good, actually. I would eat that.

HZ: They stopped at that point of the initialisms; they didn't go into the -QIA, which is supposed to be what, queso? What foodstuffs begin with an I?

MITRA KABOLI: Ummmm...

HZ: It gets difficult. I can see why they stopped.

MITRA KABOLI: ‘I’...

HZ: For the 'A' - they've got guacamole, so they used up the avocado already. Maybe apple? It's starting to get disgusting the further along the initialism you get.

MITRA KABOLI: There has to be a law where you must continue to make the sandwich, and as the acronym grows with letters, you must find something to put in there.

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In transcript Tags words, language, linguistics, education, comedy, entertainment, society & culture, arts, literature, etymology, lexicon, vocabulary, Helen Zaltzman, history, whitewashing, whitewash, greenwashing, pinkwashing, redwashing, purplewashing, rainbow-washing, Pride, Pride flag, rainbows, breast cancer, Mitra Kaboli, Sarah Schulman, LGBTQIA+, commerce, capitalism, corporate, CIA, sandwiches, beer, Stonewall, autotelic
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Allusionist 233. Phobia
Allusionist 233. Phobia

'Phobia' gets used for anything from a mild aversion to a debilitating anxiety response to various forms of bigotry. Deboki Chakravarti and Sam Jones of the podcast Tiny Matters join to consider the term from its comedic origins with one of the founding fathers of the USA, via rabies and Greek deities, to its role in their lives today.

CONTENT NOTE: we’re not trying to stoke anyone’s phobias, but we do discuss some common phobia-inducers, including snakes, germs and small holes, and there’s a brief mention of tarantulas. There’s also talk about OCD and rabies.

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Allusionist 232. Vega
Allusionist 232. Vega

What do you call yourself if you're a part-time vegetarian? What petty linguistic things would you change? And what do you do if people gripe at you if you say that you are bi or pan? To answer these questions from the Allusionist mailbag are esteemed alumsionists: Hrishikesh Hirway and Samin Nosrat of Home Cooking podcast; academic and author Alex Ketchum; lexicographer Kory Stamper; and linguist Lauren Gawne of Lingthusiasm podcast.

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Tranquillusionist: cheesy cheesybobs
Tranquillusionist: cheesy cheesybobs

This is the Tranquillusionist, in which I, Helen Zaltzman, say a series of words to relax your mind, replace a hectic interior monologue, maybe lull you to sleep, hopefully quell the mental uproar just for a little while.

Today: nicknames for woodlice AKA rolypoly bugs AKA slaters AKA all these other things; and a list of cheeses from Great Britain and Ireland.

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sorry lads, we're getting bad ads

TL;DR version:

  • For the show's financial survival (hopefully), over the next few weeks I'm having to switch on programmatic advertisements. This means, for the first time in the show's nearly 12-year existence, you may be subjected to ads that are not voiced, scripted and individually approved by me.

  • If you would prefer to listen to the show without ads in it, patreonise the show at the Gravy, Wedge or Check tiers, which include the perk of an ad-free RSS feed.

Click through to read the rest of the post about why I’m doing this thing I don’t want to do.

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Allusionist 231. Lingthusionist
Allusionist 231. Lingthusionist

“Linguistics and language is such a good mechanism for being curious,” says Lauren Gawne, linguistics prof, author of the book Gesture, and cohost of the podcast Lingthusiasm. I'm in vacation mode (although not on actual vacation alas), so today's episode is a fun chat with our nice pal about making language podcasts, the firey digestive punishments for linguistics researchers, working in reality television, and cute tame nouns versus scary intimidating verbs.

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Allusionist 230. Draculae part 4: Transformation
Allusionist 230. Draculae part 4: Transformation

Throughout the Draculae miniseries, about the Swedish and Icelandic translations of Dracula that played fast and loose with the original text, I've been wondering a couple of questions: why are cover versions of songs and remakes of films so normal and acceptable, whereas cover versions in book form cause such a stir? And do these Scandinavian Draculae count as fan fiction? And if not, why not? Fansplaining.com's Elizabeth Minkel explains what fan fiction can mean.

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Allusionist 229. Draculae part 3: Hunting Down the Count
Allusionist 229. Draculae part 3: Hunting Down the Count

Many mysteries accompany the revelations that Powers of Darkness, the Icelandic and Swedish versions of Dracula, are not direct translations of Bram Stoker's original, but stories that significantly differ in character names, plot and runtime. Like: did Bram Stoker write it himself, to publish some raunchy content that British censors would forbid? Was Powers of Darkness based on his early drafts? And did he really not copyright Dracula in the USA was that a deliberate ruse? Welllll... brace yourself for ole thrill-destroyer Zaltzman to pop your balloons of excitement.

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queer playlist
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Allusionist 228. Draculae part 2: Surprises in the Vaults
Allusionist 228. Draculae part 2: Surprises in the Vaults

Happy World Dracula Day to all who celebrate!

This is the second episode of the Draculae miniseries, about a literary mystery which came to me via a meme: “Someone translated Dracula into Icelandic, and it took over 100 years for anyone to point out he just made a fanfic rewrite of what he wanted the story to be.”

In Draculae part 2, Ásgeir Jónsson explains how he got that Icelandic adaptation of Dracula back into print, to little fanfare - but then Dutch scholar Hans Corneel de Roos set about making an English translation. Following that: like me, Will Trimble also got meme-struck, and that propelled him to get a translation of the Swedish version that begat the Icelandic one.

Before listening to this, check out the first episode of the Draculae miniseries explaining the three versions of Dracula: Dracula published by Bram Stoker in 1897; the Icelandic version Makt Myrkranna by newspaper editor Valdimar Ásmundsson, serialised in his newspaper Fyallkonan in 1900-1901; and the Swedish version Mörkrets makter by an author known only as A—e, and serialised in a couple of Swedish newspapers 1899-1900.

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Allusionist 227. Draculae part 1: Enter the Castle
Allusionist 227. Draculae part 1: Enter the Castle

A literary mystery came to me via a meme.

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Allusionist 226. Suburbia
Allusionist 226. Suburbia

"The word ‘suburbia’ sort of evokes a very fixed idea of a place that is identikit, that all suburbs are the same, that within the suburb everything is the same, that all people are the same, all experiences are the same," says social historian and author John Grindrod. "I think it has this kind of flattening-out facility, that word, that isn't true."

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Allusionist 225. Hues
Allusionist 225. Hues

You know what's an absolutely pesky kind of word to define in a dictionary? Colour names. A passel of lexicographers spent years - decades, even - trying different ways to describe colours in words for Webster's Third International Dictionary. It was such a huge, complicated effort that it took twelve years for former Merriam-Webster lexicographer Kory Stamper to write a book about it.

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Allusionist 224. Cosmic Hairball
Allusionist 224. Cosmic Hairball

Pack your oxygen tank, we're going up to space. There’s a lot of etymology up there.

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Allusionist 223. Bonus 2025
Allusionist 223. Bonus 2025
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Allusionist 222. A Christmas Carol
Allusionist 222. A Christmas Carol

Today, we read the novelisation of The Muppet Christmas Carol, also known as the 1843 festive lit hit A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens.

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The Allusionist by Helen Zaltzman is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.