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The Allusionist

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A PODCAST ABOUT LANGUAGE
BY HELEN ZALTZMAN

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The Allusionist

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Allusionist 225. Hues transcript

April 14, 2026 The Allusionist
a boggle grid spelling out the word 'hues'

KORY STAMPER: How do you describe colour in a consistent way without a visual aid? So no colour chips, no paintings – how do you describe colour in a way that makes sense to everybody who hears you describe it, so that all of you are picturing the same colour at the same time? And that seems simple, and is actually really terrible. It is an eternal quest.

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In transcript Tags Kory Stamper, lexicography, lexicon, lexicographers, dictionaries, dictionary, Merriam-Webster, Webster’s Third, definitions, defining, semantics, science, colours, color, pigment, Shakespeare, pompadour, purple, Germany, USA, World War One, WW1, WW2, World War Two, First World War, Second World War, McCarthyism, Samuel Johnson, research, technology, dye, dyestuffs, weapons, consumer psychology, marketing, primary colours, Homer, Odyssey, government, subjectivity, objectivity, Brent Berlin, Paul Kay, Sapir-Whorf, linguistic relativity, imago, puke

Allusionist 191 Hypochondria - transcript

March 23, 2024 The Allusionist

CAROLINE CRAMPTON: A lot of the theoretical material that I'd read about hypochondria very much positioned it in this binary situation that either someone has, quote, real illness, i.e. illness that you can detect with a scan or a blood test or some other diagnostic tool, or "It's all in their head and it's made up," and those are the only two ways it can be. But, just personally, I feel like I'm pretty much constantly experiencing some combination of the two. And I think the idea that there is unwarranted fear: I don't think there is any such thing as unwarranted fear, to be honest. 

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In transcript Tags etymology, vocabulary, history, Caroline Crampton, hypochondria, hypochondriac, hypochondrium, bodies, medical, medicine, health, anxiety, health anxiety, mental health, psychology, depression, melancholy, science, doctors, treatment, Four Humors, humoral theory, humorism, bile, hysteria, Cicero, Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice, Emma, Sanditon, literature, cures, wellness, quacks, class, panaceas, DSM-5, diagnosis, Somatic Symptom Disorder, Illness Anxiety Disorder, uncertainty, cancer, spleen, liver, gut, abdomen, uterus, womb, edaphic, four humors, four humours, humors, humours

Allusionist 180 Project ENABLE transcript

August 24, 2023 The Allusionist

STERLING MARTIN: Growing up, I've always had an interest in science and that's something my family helped nurture. Also just growing up, there weren't many Navajo words in science. Then I went to undergrad at the University of Iowa and my parents were like, "Oh, what are you doing?" And I worked in a research lab, so I could get some bench experience, and just trying to explain to them what I was doing scientifically, I could tell they weren't really catching on to what it meant.

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In transcript Tags etymology, words, language, Sterling Martin, Project ENABLE, Frank Morgan, Navajo, Diné Bizaad, Diné, translation, translating, science, medicine, medical, biology, COVID19, lexicography, lexicon, vocabulary, neologisms, technology, accessibility, access, Indigenous languages, Native American languages, Native Americans, Indigenous Americans, language revitalisation, protons, electrons, chromosome, chemical, carnivore, bacteria, DNA, catalyst, Utah, Arizona, New Mexico, font, keyboard, worms, C Elegans, veridical

Allusionist 169 The Box transcript

January 28, 2023 The Allusionist

SUBHADRA DAS: A guy from the UCL estates team, screwdriver, took the plaque off the wall.
HZ: That's it?
SUBHADRA DAS: That's how you dename a building. It's not difficult.

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In Telling Other Stories, transcript Tags words, language, linguistics, education, society & culture, arts, literature, lexicon, vocabulary, telling other stories, renaming, names, eponyms, problematic, science eponyms, science, scientific, Subhadra Das, Martin Austwick, Trinity College Dublin, TCD, University College London, UCL, Dublin, London, university, college, buildings, honours, honors, eugenics, racism, Erwin Schrödinger, Karl Pearson, Francis Galton, Schrödinger’s cat, Schrödinger’s equation, theories, quantum mechanics, physics, genetics, moon, Nobel Prize, light, waves, quantum, quantum wave function, Louis de Broglie, Arthur Lunn, Albert Einstein, theory of relativity, many worlds theory, Hugh Everett, Mark Everett, Eels, museums, Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle, Heisenberg, quadrivium

Allusionist 159 Bufflusionist transcript

August 20, 2022 The Allusionist

HZ: ‘Vampyre’ with a Y was pretty interchangeable with ‘vampire’ with an I when it first landed in English. Actually, I think the first appearance in English was with a Y. We probably got it from French or German, but it was based on - it’s a little unclear, but it was based on Hungarian, possibly, or Slavic languages. And it was because, at the time, they were doing a lot of coverage of the Serbian vampire epidemic of 1725 to 1732.
JENNY OWEN YOUNGS: Oh, of course.
HZ: Apparently there were a lot of Eastern European vampire epidemics.
KRISTIN RUSSO: What is a vampire epidemic?
HZ: I assume an epidemic of vampires. Imagine Covid, but for vampirism. And no vaccine. No masking is going to save you.

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In transcript Tags etymology, history, entertainment, Buffering the Vampire Slayer, Jenny Owen Youngs, Kristin Russo, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Buffy Summers, Sarah Michelle Gellar, slang, Joss Whedon, television, TV, teenage, USA, 1990s, 2000s, 1600s, 1300s, 1950s, vampires, weaving, Slaymaker, Latin, nicknames, hellmouth, Christianity, Catholicism, religion, witches, spells, magic, covens, nuns, monks, science, alchemy, occult, plagues, alewives, beer, misogyny, Margaret Murray, wigs, wiggins, flip your wig, headcount, hair, wigpicker, nominalisation, verbs, nouns, generic, Google, googling, brand names, cricket, truckers, military, radio, My So-Called Life, vampyre, Serbia, vampire epidemics, conlang, constructed languages, David J Peterson, Dothraki, Valyrian, Game of Thrones, Klingon, Yulish, Icelandic, beef, liquid beef, meat, git, Napoleon III, food, cows, Victorians, inventions, Edward Bulwer-Lytton, novels, science fiction, fantasy, 5x5, Bovril, Buffy, coven, Elizabeth, grilse, killer, slayer, vampire, wigging out

Allusionist 143 Hedge Rider transcript

October 13, 2021 The Allusionist
A143 Hedge Rider logo.jpeg

Sometimes it would be useful if a podcast had footnotes, wouldn’t it, so that if you came here just for etymology, you didn’t get derailed by a tale of someone frightening off a ghost with semen.

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In transcript Tags words, language, linguistics, education, comedy, entertainment, society & culture, arts, literature, etymology, lexicon, vocabulary, history, Halloween, Latin, Greek, paganism, religion, Christianity, hedges, herbs, wood shavings, wood wool, wood, wicca, products, blunders, fish hook, names, exte berri, Basque, saints, garlic, spices, cloves, science, nescience, Leo Durocher, sportsball, seed, sexism, ghosts, demons, execution, Iceland, witches, God, zero, aught, buzzard, cauldron, clove, clumsy, conjure, craft, crone, drycræft, excelsior, exorcism, fact, gaff, gaffe, grimoire, hag, haggard, Harvey, hedge, hedge witch, Javier, magic, naught, naughty, nice, nice guys finish last, nought, ought, popple, semen, seminal, seminary, sorcerer, supernatural, wicked, witch, wizard, Xavier, legerdemain, hawks

Allusionist 114. Alarm Bells transcript

February 24, 2020 The Allusionist
A114 logo Alarm Bells.jpg

ROBIN WEBSTER: I am as guilty as any, having worked as a sort of techie professional in this for a long time of writing those sentences that go "By 2050, the trajectory of the curve will be movement this and carbon capture and storage," these paragraphs that just mean nothing to nobody. And they are about things which are far away in time, far away in place. We were using these words like ‘sustainability’ and ‘trajectory’ and ‘parts per million’. And I was like, what on earth is this language? It doesn't say anything.
HZ: ‘Parts per million’: that's the stuff to get people up and ready for action.
ROBIN WEBSTER: 450 parts per million, let's go!

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In transcript Tags words, language, linguistics, education, comedy, entertainment, society & culture, arts, literature, Helen Zaltzman, etymology, lexicon, vocabulary, Alice Bell, Amy Westervelt, Robin Webster, climate, environment, climate change, climate crisis, climate emergency, fossil fuel, fuel, coal, natural gas, oil, energy, renewables, renewable energy, scicomm, green, clean, clean energy, PR, propaganda, industry, oil industry, natural resources, eco, ecology, Frank Luntz, fossils, manipulation, sustainable, sustainability, conversation, emotions, technology, blame, shame, guilt, greenwashing, Jay Westerveld, greenhouse effect, alarms, action, communication, science, scientists, evidence, alarmist, activists, global heating, global warming, warmists, Joseph Fourier, Nils Ekholm, John Henry Poynting, euphemisms, metaphor, flight shame, journalists, journalism, climate silence, fear, courage, flying, flight, hope, astroturfing, AstroTurf, ChemGrass, sceptics, climate sceptic, climate denier, radical, revolution, tech

Allusionist 113. Zaltzology transcript

January 24, 2020 The Allusionist
A113 Zaltzology logo.JPG

ALIE WARD: Carrie Studard wants to know: “Are there any synonyms for the most hated word, ‘moist’?”

HZ: Moist. Do you hate the word ‘moist’? 

ALIE WARD: At this point, it's an underdog. You know what I mean? Like, can moist live? Can it just do its business? I don't hate it. 

HZ: It's fine. 

ALIE WARD: I don't hate it. I tend to think of dew or grass more than I think of... 

HZ: Well, that's a lovely form of moisture. I suppose the people who hate it are maybe thinking of bodily crevices. And that's their prejudice showing. 

ALIE WARD: Yes, it is. 

HZ: Yeah. Because other words like ‘damp’ - I mean, if you're moist from the rain, like a raincoat. Damp. Is that better? Is that worse? A bodily crevice could also be damp. 

ALIE WARD: Sure. I feel like moist has a certain heat to it that damp lacks. 

HZ: A steaminess rather than chilliness. It's good that we're figuring these things out. 

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In transcript Tags words, language, linguistics, education, comedy, entertainment, society & culture, arts, literature, Helen Zaltzman, etymology, lexicon, vocabulary, Alie Ward, Ologies, etymologist, entomologist, tomato, buxom, community, mediocre, coccyx, queue, swearing, c bomb, f bomb, swears, profanity, Galen, body parts, cliches, moist, Latin, science, species, rantipole, spelllings, U, entomology

Allusionist 80. Warm Front - transcript

June 15, 2018 The Allusionist
A80+Warm+Front+logo.jpg

NATE BYRNE: One of the things I find really strange when it comes to the weather is that we're all experts and all idiots at the same time.
HZ: You’re supposed to be the expert though.
NATE BYRNE: Right. Yeah! But I mean, we all live in it every day and we all feel like we understand the weather really well and we hear weather reports every single day. Now, if you are practicing a skill every day, on average you're generally excellent at it; that’s a real strength of yours. But it turns out that meteorologists typically haven't been very good at telling people what it is they're trying to tell them. So showers, just for example, means the rain's going to start and stop and start and stop; it doesn't tell you anything about the volume. Rain means it's just going to be continuous, and again doesn't tell you anything about the volume; but we have built, somehow, cultural expectations and understandings that go with those words that the scientists don't actually mean when they're using those words and it makes a really tricky job.

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In transcript Tags words, language, communication, science, weather, meteorology, meteor, meteorologist, science communication, scicomm, clouds, rain, storms, cyclones, weather forecasts, television, TV, Australia, jargon, terminology, emotion, facts, wind, climate, showers, sun, sultry, knots, Beaufort Scale, numbers, sky, Nate Byrne, ABC

Allusionist 74. Take A Swear Pill - transcript

March 9, 2018 The Allusionist
A74 swear pill logo.png

HZ: So why is swearing good for you?
EMMA BYRNE: It's good for us socially, in that it is this really useful telegraph of our emotions; it's a good way of avoiding physical conflict. It's also a really good way of bonding, of saying "I hear you. I feel the strength of your emotions," like saying "Fuck that shit" when someone comes to you with something that's obviously upset them. Sometimes it needs to be something stronger than just putting your arm around their shoulder going, "Oh there, there". It's also really useful individually, both for a cathartic side of things when you do something painful or frustrating, letting it out there.

HZ: Another reason swearing is good for you: it relieves pain.

EMMA BYRNE: That is really potent and surprisingly well documented. When you stick your hands, for example, in freezing cold water, you can stand it for about half as long again if you’re using a single swear word than if you're using a single neutral word. Not only that: when afterwards you're asked about how painful that experience felt, you report that cold water as feeling much milder than the water that you had your hand in while you were using some neutral word. So we know that it's really handy for dealing with pain that's being inflicted on you. We also know that it's quite useful, for example, among people who are suffering from long term conditions - so not pain that's been inflicted in a lab, the pain that is ongoing. So managing particularly the emotional aspects of long term pain, a good swear can be cathartic.

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In transcript Tags words, language, phrases, linguistics, neuroscience, neuropsychology, pain, analgesics, profanity, swearing, cold water test, swear words, swears, cusses, cursing, cuss, curse, Emma Byrne, Very Bad Words, Matt Fidler, science, emotional, emotions, brain, psychology, executive function, jokes, Phineas Gage, brain injuries, head injuries, health, chimpanzees, chimps, Washoe, behaviour, behavior, anthropology, manners, children, childhood, dementia, taboos, shame, social conditioning, defecation, excrement, sex, masturbation, body parts, experiments
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Allusionist 233. Phobia
Allusionist 233. Phobia

'Phobia' gets used for anything from a mild aversion to a debilitating anxiety response to various forms of bigotry. Deboki Chakravarti and Sam Jones of the podcast Tiny Matters join to consider the term from its comedic origins with one of the founding fathers of the USA, via rabies and Greek deities, to its role in their lives today.

CONTENT NOTE: we’re not trying to stoke anyone’s phobias, but we do discuss some common phobia-inducers, including snakes, germs and small holes, and there’s a brief mention of tarantulas. There’s also talk about OCD and rabies.

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Allusionist 232. Vega
Allusionist 232. Vega

What do you call yourself if you're a part-time vegetarian? What petty linguistic things would you change? And what do you do if people gripe at you if you say that you are bi or pan? To answer these questions from the Allusionist mailbag are esteemed alumsionists: Hrishikesh Hirway and Samin Nosrat of Home Cooking podcast; academic and author Alex Ketchum; lexicographer Kory Stamper; and linguist Lauren Gawne of Lingthusiasm podcast.

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Tranquillusionist: cheesy cheesybobs
Tranquillusionist: cheesy cheesybobs

This is the Tranquillusionist, in which I, Helen Zaltzman, say a series of words to relax your mind, replace a hectic interior monologue, maybe lull you to sleep, hopefully quell the mental uproar just for a little while.

Today: nicknames for woodlice AKA rolypoly bugs AKA slaters AKA all these other things; and a list of cheeses from Great Britain and Ireland.

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78AF926C-7878-4567-A87F-13CFF415B647_1_105_c.jpeg
sorry lads, we're getting bad ads

TL;DR version:

  • For the show's financial survival (hopefully), over the next few weeks I'm having to switch on programmatic advertisements. This means, for the first time in the show's nearly 12-year existence, you may be subjected to ads that are not voiced, scripted and individually approved by me.

  • If you would prefer to listen to the show without ads in it, patreonise the show at the Gravy, Wedge or Check tiers, which include the perk of an ad-free RSS feed.

Click through to read the rest of the post about why I’m doing this thing I don’t want to do.

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Allusionist 231. Lingthusionist
Allusionist 231. Lingthusionist

“Linguistics and language is such a good mechanism for being curious,” says Lauren Gawne, linguistics prof, author of the book Gesture, and cohost of the podcast Lingthusiasm. I'm in vacation mode (although not on actual vacation alas), so today's episode is a fun chat with our nice pal about making language podcasts, the firey digestive punishments for linguistics researchers, working in reality television, and cute tame nouns versus scary intimidating verbs.

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Allusionist 230. Draculae part 4: Transformation
Allusionist 230. Draculae part 4: Transformation

Throughout the Draculae miniseries, about the Swedish and Icelandic translations of Dracula that played fast and loose with the original text, I've been wondering a couple of questions: why are cover versions of songs and remakes of films so normal and acceptable, whereas cover versions in book form cause such a stir? And do these Scandinavian Draculae count as fan fiction? And if not, why not? Fansplaining.com's Elizabeth Minkel explains what fan fiction can mean.

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Allusionist 229. Draculae part 3: Hunting Down the Count
Allusionist 229. Draculae part 3: Hunting Down the Count

Many mysteries accompany the revelations that Powers of Darkness, the Icelandic and Swedish versions of Dracula, are not direct translations of Bram Stoker's original, but stories that significantly differ in character names, plot and runtime. Like: did Bram Stoker write it himself, to publish some raunchy content that British censors would forbid? Was Powers of Darkness based on his early drafts? And did he really not copyright Dracula in the USA was that a deliberate ruse? Welllll... brace yourself for ole thrill-destroyer Zaltzman to pop your balloons of excitement.

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queer playlist
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Allusionist 228. Draculae part 2: Surprises in the Vaults
Allusionist 228. Draculae part 2: Surprises in the Vaults

Happy World Dracula Day to all who celebrate!

This is the second episode of the Draculae miniseries, about a literary mystery which came to me via a meme: “Someone translated Dracula into Icelandic, and it took over 100 years for anyone to point out he just made a fanfic rewrite of what he wanted the story to be.”

In Draculae part 2, Ásgeir Jónsson explains how he got that Icelandic adaptation of Dracula back into print, to little fanfare - but then Dutch scholar Hans Corneel de Roos set about making an English translation. Following that: like me, Will Trimble also got meme-struck, and that propelled him to get a translation of the Swedish version that begat the Icelandic one.

Before listening to this, check out the first episode of the Draculae miniseries explaining the three versions of Dracula: Dracula published by Bram Stoker in 1897; the Icelandic version Makt Myrkranna by newspaper editor Valdimar Ásmundsson, serialised in his newspaper Fyallkonan in 1900-1901; and the Swedish version Mörkrets makter by an author known only as A—e, and serialised in a couple of Swedish newspapers 1899-1900.

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Allusionist 227. Draculae part 1: Enter the Castle
Allusionist 227. Draculae part 1: Enter the Castle

A literary mystery came to me via a meme.

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Allusionist 226. Suburbia
Allusionist 226. Suburbia

"The word ‘suburbia’ sort of evokes a very fixed idea of a place that is identikit, that all suburbs are the same, that within the suburb everything is the same, that all people are the same, all experiences are the same," says social historian and author John Grindrod. "I think it has this kind of flattening-out facility, that word, that isn't true."

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Allusionist 225. Hues
Allusionist 225. Hues

You know what's an absolutely pesky kind of word to define in a dictionary? Colour names. A passel of lexicographers spent years - decades, even - trying different ways to describe colours in words for Webster's Third International Dictionary. It was such a huge, complicated effort that it took twelve years for former Merriam-Webster lexicographer Kory Stamper to write a book about it.

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Allusionist 224. Cosmic Hairball
Allusionist 224. Cosmic Hairball

Pack your oxygen tank, we're going up to space. There’s a lot of etymology up there.

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Allusionist 223. Bonus 2025
Allusionist 223. Bonus 2025
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Allusionist 222. A Christmas Carol
Allusionist 222. A Christmas Carol

Today, we read the novelisation of The Muppet Christmas Carol, also known as the 1843 festive lit hit A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens.

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The Allusionist by Helen Zaltzman is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.