TL;DR version:
For the show's financial survival (hopefully), over the next few weeks I'm having to switch on programmatic advertisements. This means, for the first time in the show's nearly 12-year existence, you may be subjected to ads that are not voiced, scripted and individually approved by me.
If you would prefer to listen to the show without ads in it, patreonise the show at the Gravy, Wedge or Check tiers, which include the perk of an ad-free RSS feed.
Long version:
Why is me switching on programmatic ads relevant to you?
That kind of ad is usually really annoying to listen to.
We all know it! That's one of the reasons why I didn't want to have them on my show ever. If there's something on there that you find really annoying, I would rather it is ME.And of course I'm aware that being shilled to is quite annoying in itself, so I've always tried to mitigate that a bit by writing a fun ad script where possible (brands used to love that! Now, they want me to say some nonsensical tagline where adjectives are nouned, then recite their URL at least three times in case you only woke from a deep nap after the first two) and recording the ads in my own voice (flavour profile: dulcet; base notes: Home Counties accent, sarcasm).
Another reason I have so far refused to run this style of ad is:
I won't know which ads are appearing in the show.
And I don't like that, so this is important: if you hear an ad for a brand that you think I would not like to be there and/or know to be evil, PLEASE tell me about it via Patreon or the contact page here and I can get it blocked. Consider it a game of capitalism Whac-a-Mole.
FYI, with the ads that I do get a say over and voice myself: I have always tried to be careful about what those brands are, and turned down a lot of them. Also, there have been one or two brands that I did advertise and then listeners asked me not to, so I stopped. Sure, I do need money to live, but sometimes the price is too high.
I have always forbidden several categories of sponsor - pharma, politics, gambling, banking etc - but when it comes to programmatic ads, a lot of brands deliberately obfuscate their categories so that they can worm their way around. Luckily, my show is currently on a hosting platform where we are able to block brands individually. I can't preemptively block all potentially disagreeable sponsors, because there are thousands on the list and I don't have the time/brain to research what every single company is and whether it is evil. But, if you bring one to my notice - and I'll be very grateful if you do - I can stop it appearing on the show again.
(Note: I might not have the same feelings and principles as you do about a brand. Maybe you'll gently suggest to me that Captain Ragegasm's Warblasters isn't the right fit for this show, and I'll counter that I'm happy to take their money because my granny loved their grenades, y'know? So I can't promise that every one of you will be happy with every decision. But, I do care about this stuff, and I do take your qualms seriously, and I think for the most part we dream the same dreams, we want the same things, etc.)
Perhaps I'm overthinking all of this; perhaps most of you won't notice or be particularly bothered. After all, many many podcasts have been running programmatic ads since Obama was still president.
If I hate it, why am I doing it?
You don't have to pay attention hereon, by the way! I'm telling you the rest because I get the impression you appreciate transparency from me, and some of you also like to know about the cogs of the podbiz. None of the cogs are very exciting, don't get your hopes up for cute or cool cogs.
This morning I was on a call with Amanda from Multitude; she has been vending ads for the show for close to six years, ever since I left Radiotopia. At that time, I spoke to a few big corps that were interested in acquiring the show, but big corp has never been my bias so I decided to be independent. I couldn't handle the ad sales myself - by then, most sponsors wouldn't deal with individual podcasts directly anyway, and also I was working 70+ hours per week making Allusionist, Answer Me This and Veronica Mars Investigations, so chose to outsource ad sales rather than perish. Anyway, I went with Multitude because it's a small, independent company, and if any company is making a cut of the revenue from my work, I'd prefer it was a small independent one. Amanda has always been very accommodating about how I want to do ads - brands that don't make me squirm; ads written and read by me, as aforementioned - and has been good at finding sponsors that are into that.
Over the past few years, though, things in the podbiz have shifted a LOT, including financially. My show, though fairly small now by professional pod standards, withstood a lot of the changes longer than others, and for a while still brought in decent money for its size and independent-ness and non-glamorous-seeming focus of language (like, it's not generating weekly "Celeb said THIS!!" headlines like Call Her Daddy does. "Dictionary did WHAT now?!" If only!). Although the Patreon donations are very significant, the majority of the show's funding for most of its lifespan has been via ads.
However. In the last couple of years, the arse fell out of the ad revenue for this show. 2025 takings were half of 2024's; 2026 is on track for being even less. The majority of the show's income is now from Patreon by proportion, although the Patreon income hasn't increased in quantity (indeed, it slowly shrinks).
I'm hugely grateful to all of you who contribute to the Patreon and believe me, without you doing that, RIP The Allusionist. I'm telling you about all this not to solicit bigger sums from those of you who donate, or to guilt-trip you if you don't. Given the state of everybloodything [glances out of window at city veiled in wildfire smoke], and the many demands on people's money that are considerably more pressing, to me it doesn't feel good or appropriate to ask listeners to fund a podcast!
Much as both of us dislike the trend, Amanda says that Multitude has recently seen more income from these programmatic ads than the kind that I prefer - and I think most listeners prefer too. Because of that, they also work WAY better for the sponsors, and for a long time the kinds of companies that liked to sponsor podcasts understood that, because they understood and liked podcasts. But, more and more brands are sponsoring podcasts now that don't really know or care about them, plus there are more and more intermediary companies in the biz that don't really care about podcasts either, telling the brands to buy programmatic ads, and the programmatics are cheaper, so that's what they're paying for currently.
For several years, the show was financially stable enough that I could resist the pressure to allow programmatic ads onto it. Now, it is not. So, here we are.
Preemptively answering some questions:
If you're listening outside the US, there's a decent chance you will rarely-to-never hear a programmatic ad, because most of the companies only want to buy the eartime of you in the US! So rude! But also, yay for everyone elsewhere?!
Will I still be doing the other kind of ad? Yes! For as long as companies will pay me to do them. Want me to do one for you/your product? Get in touch and we'll work something out!
Do the sponsors know if you actually listened to their ads? Generally, no - if you downloaded the show, they're not [supposed to be] tracking* whether you ever click play on it, or if you skipped over an ad. If you listen via streaming, they do know a bit more about what you skip or where you stop. Also some platforms make the ads unskippable.
Worth noting: a lot of the pod platforms have not yet managed to invade your privacy enough to know anything beyond where you are and what software you're listening with. Whereas, for example, just to pick a name out of the hat (whistles nonchalantly), Sp0t1fy does have more, er, insight into your movements. Which is another reason not to use that platform, if Daniel Ek funding AI weapons, spending at least $2bn on wrecking podcasting for the rest of us, and making J0e Rog4n even richer, AND not paying musicians, weren't already reasons enough.
Why can't I make the show for free? Most podcasters make their shows for free! Yeah, I know, I was one of the originals doing that, for YEARS - eight years, in fact, before podcasting was my living. Now, this is my actual full-time job. And my rent is much higher than it was then.
A lot of people assume that the amount of time it takes to listen to a podcast episode is the same amount of time it took to make it. This is incorrect. Even the most perfunctory, unedited, poorly produced podcast will take quite a bit longer; and I endeavour to put in far more effort than that. The quickest episode of the Allusionist takes several days, and most take more than several days. I'm glad to make the effort and I do feel it's all worth it, but, physically and mentally, I can't do that for free.
Does it help make me money if you download the ad-riddled version of the show, delete it and redownload? Or download it even if you only listen to the ad-free version? I mean, technically yes, but not all that much, so I don't think it is worth you inconveniencing yourself to do it. But...
My favourite form of helping, that is 100% FREE, and also does not require you to listen to the annoying ads, is to recommend the show to people!!
For example, several times a week I see requests on Reddit or Facebook for recommendations for shows that are informative and aren't celebs-chatting-to-celebs, and even when my shows are exactly what the poster seeks, I cannot go into those threads to recommend myself. But if you are moved to do so, I'd be thrilled! Or if you want to make your own Allusionist bumper sticker! Teach your pet parrot to say some inwhiches? Lovely. All if this is really, really helpful.
Anyway, that's about all! Sorry about it, and thanks for being such good pallusionists. Also, there'll be a new episode landing in your podfeed within the next few days.
Your real imaginary friend,
HZ
PS. You made it all the way to the end? As a reward, here's a cool Pacific Banana Slug I saw the other day:
