Allusionist 213. Four Letter Words: Dino transcript

July 22, 2025 The Allusionist

lot of dinosaur names as well are just being factual about size, like ‘mega’ - and actually a lot of the names are being factual about other things, like triceratops and pentaceratops: that's descriptive. Three horns; five horns.

HANNAH McGREGOR: Five horns. We're always telling you about the number of horns. And then a lot of them are just like, “We found this in this place.”

HZ: Yeah. The albertosaurus -

HANNAH McGREGOR: Albertosaurus!

HZ: - in Alberta. And, mastodon is meant nipple tooth, or nipple teeth.

HANNAH McGREGOR: …Sorry?

HZ: You look a little perturbed,

HANNAH McGREGOR: Perturbed and delighted. Vagina dentata is a sort of recurring theme -

HZ: It's a passion of yours.

HANNAH McGREGOR: It’s a passion of mine! Ha ha ha. Yeah, yeah, you know what? You're not wrong. It's a recurring theme in the book and my life. and so I'm really, I am intrigued by the idea of adding nipple teeth into the equation.

Tranquillusionist: Person In Scene transcript

February 23, 2024 The Allusionist

This is the Tranquillusionist, in which I, Helen Zaltzman, soothe your brain by saying a load of words that don’t really mean very much, to give you an emotional break by temporarily supplanting your interior monologue with something you can benignly ignore. This isn’t like the usual episodes of the Allusionist, there’ll be no learning, no journey, you don’t have to feel or think anything. And you’ll find previous editions of the Tranquillusionist at theallusionist.org/tranquillusionist, featuring champion dogs, gay animals, punchlines with no setups and more.

Today’s theme was requested by Lachlan, so long ago that Lachlan will have perhaps forgotten, but at some point in the past they wanted a Tranquillusionist featuring the characters from films that don't have names - so in the credits they’re listed as "man in shop", "lady with pram", "angry customer 2".

Allusionist 137 Dude transcript

June 10, 2021 The Allusionist

Till about the 1950s, ‘dude’ still had this connotation of someone out of place, a tourist trying to dress like a local and failing. And in that sense, it was gender neutral for a bit. Then, somehow, it became cool.

Allusionist 134 Lacuna transcript

April 9, 2021 The Allusionist

CRYSTIAN CRUZ: Some of the content was censored at the very beginning, but some was censored at the very end of the process. So they were just about to print out the new edition and then they had to stop the machines and say, “No, that's content was not approved, so we have to replace it at the very last moment.” So that guy would have to come up with some recipes.

HZ: That’s a lot of pressure on a linotype printer - not just having to deal with very late changes to the paper, but mentally having to bake a cake too.

CRYSTIAN CRUZ: And then the thing is, they didn't work at all, because the guy had just made it up.

Allusionist 125 Swearalong Quiz transcript

November 11, 2020 The Allusionist

Today, we’re going to destress, let off some steam, with the Swearlusionist Swearalong quiz.

Allusionist 36: Big Lit - transcript

May 13, 2016 The Allusionist

The term ‘classic’ turned up in English around the start of the 17th century, when it meant ‘of the highest class’ - same meaning as the Latin ‘classicus’ from which it came. It swiftly became the label for ancient Greek and Latin literature, and by the mid-19th century, that sense had been extended to any works with that sort of quality - though when it comes to the classics of English literature, I’m vague about what that quality is. “Written by dead white men”, going by the selection of classic literature that I had to read at school and university. “Big books that make me feel guilty and stupid for not having read them?” “Source material for TV dramatisations involving bonnets?” Seriously, what does ‘classic’ mean now?

Allusionist 19: Architecting About Dance - transcript

September 23, 2015 The Allusionist

“Talking about music is like dancing about architecture,” said Elvis Costello. Or Frank Zappa. Or Gore Vidal. Or Laurie Anderson. Or Steve Martin. Or the comedian Martin Mull.

I think this is a problematic statement, not just because nobody can agree on who came up with it. But because dancing about architecture doesn’t seem particularly far-fetched - they’re both visual, in fact each medium could probably elegantly reflect the other. Talking about dance, however, is really difficult.