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A PODCAST ABOUT LANGUAGE
BY HELEN ZALTZMAN

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Allusionist 213. Four Letter Words: Dino transcript

July 22, 2025 The Allusionist

lot of dinosaur names as well are just being factual about size, like ‘mega’ - and actually a lot of the names are being factual about other things, like triceratops and pentaceratops: that's descriptive. Three horns; five horns.

HANNAH McGREGOR: Five horns. We're always telling you about the number of horns. And then a lot of them are just like, “We found this in this place.”

HZ: Yeah. The albertosaurus -

HANNAH McGREGOR: Albertosaurus!

HZ: - in Alberta. And, mastodon is meant nipple tooth, or nipple teeth.

HANNAH McGREGOR: …Sorry?

HZ: You look a little perturbed,

HANNAH McGREGOR: Perturbed and delighted. Vagina dentata is a sort of recurring theme -

HZ: It's a passion of yours.

HANNAH McGREGOR: It’s a passion of mine! Ha ha ha. Yeah, yeah, you know what? You're not wrong. It's a recurring theme in the book and my life. and so I'm really, I am intrigued by the idea of adding nipple teeth into the equation.

Allusionist 200. 200th episode celebratory quiz! transcript

September 13, 2024 The Allusionist

Here it is, the 200th episode of the Allusionist! To celebrate, here is a playalong quiz where the questions have been set by you, the smart listeners, and if you want to play as you listen, you can keep track of your scores via the score sheet at theallusionist.org/200, if you don’t have to hand the back of an envelope and a pencil you stole from IKEA.

Tranquillusionist: Gay Animals transcript

June 10, 2023 The Allusionist

This is the Tranquillusionist, in which I, Helen Zaltzman, say a load of words which aren’t really about anything so that your brain gets a little gentle diversion from thinking and/or feeling. This is not a regular episode of the Allusionist where you’re supposed to think and/or feel things. The Tranquillusionist is meant to be a bit dull, and maybe it’ll help you get to sleep or at least turn your existential screaming down to 11.

Today I shall be reading a list of gay animals.

Allusonist 158 Creature Quiz transcript

August 5, 2022 The Allusionist

Magpie is short for:

A. Magnum PI
B. Margaret Pica
C. Magic Pigeon
D. Magister Pinetree

Allusionist 139 Ladybird Ladybug transcript

July 12, 2021 The Allusionist

Little coconut, tortoise beetle, golden turtle, spoon insect, patch-sewer, umbrella insect, flowery big sister, celestial path insect, red mother, Ali's mother, coral beetle, good luck bug, ladyclock, child of the sun, little midwife, Saint Lucia's little piglet, God's little cow, god's little lamb, god's chicken, devil’s chicken, god's horse, Flying Mary…