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The Allusionist

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A PODCAST ABOUT LANGUAGE
BY HELEN ZALTZMAN

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The Allusionist

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Allusionist 213. Four Letter Words: Dino transcript

July 22, 2025 The Allusionist

lot of dinosaur names as well are just being factual about size, like ‘mega’ - and actually a lot of the names are being factual about other things, like triceratops and pentaceratops: that's descriptive. Three horns; five horns. 

HANNAH McGREGOR: Five horns. We're always telling you about the number of horns. And then a lot of them are just like, “We found this in this place.” 

HZ: Yeah. The albertosaurus - 

HANNAH McGREGOR: Albertosaurus!

HZ: - in Alberta. And, mastodon is meant nipple tooth, or nipple teeth. 

HANNAH McGREGOR: …Sorry? 

HZ: You look a little perturbed, 

HANNAH McGREGOR: Perturbed and delighted. Vagina dentata is a sort of recurring theme -

HZ: It's a passion of yours.

HANNAH McGREGOR: It’s a passion of mine! Ha ha ha. Yeah, yeah, you know what? You're not wrong. It's a recurring theme in the book and my life. and so I'm really, I am intrigued by the idea of adding nipple teeth into the equation. 

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In transcript Tags etymology, lexicon, society, culture, words, language, history, vocabulary, four letter words, dino, dinosaurs, palaeontology, fossils, Jurassic Park, Michael Crichton, films, movies, 19th century, awe, Crystal Palace, parks, Victorians, museums, Latin, Greek, T-rex, sublime, taxonomy, semantics, terrible, nature, natural history, ancient, extinct, bones, creatures, animals, reptiles, lizards, plesiosaur, geology, zoos, safaris, spectacle, spectacular, discomfort, Richard Owen, Benjamin Waterhouse Hawkins, Henry Fairfield Osborn, Bone Wars, Othniel Charles Marsh, Edward Drinker Cope, categories, categorising, apatosaurus, athanor, brontosaurus, deinonychus, dinosaur, mastodon, megalosaurus, tyrannosaurus, tyrant, velociraptor, dynamoterror, lizard, naming, names, nipples, teeth, nipple teeth, claws, pentaceratops, triceratops, Oedipus, eugenics, Alberta, Canada, Prince Albert, Queen Victoria, Princess Louise, vagina dentata

Allusionist 190 Craters - transcript

March 7, 2024 The Allusionist

ANNIE LENNOX: It really all came to light when I got the opportunity to name my first feature on Mercury - which was, side note, one of the most exciting things. To find something that is scientifically significant and then to get the chance to name it on another planet: super cool. 

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In transcript Tags history, Annie Lennox, International Astronomical Union, IAU, space, planets, craters, Mercury, Mars, Moon, Europa, mythical characters, myth, snake, Ceres, Venus, solar system, names, naming, renaming, eponyms, problematic eponyms, geology, Pablo Neruda, sexism, astronomers, astronomy, Giovanni Battista Riccioli, Sea of Tranquillity, representation, Sheila Stewart, Mary Brooksbank, Carolina Nairn, Disney, Freddie Mercury, Boaty McBoatface, regulus

Allusionist 178 Uranus transcript

June 22, 2023 The Allusionist

Have you ever wondered why the planets in our solar system are all named after Roman deities, except two of them? 

One of those exceptions is Earth, which means, well, earth, and it doesn’t fit the system because it wasn’t formally discovered by humans, it was where they already were, so when they started identifying planets thousands of years ago, they hadn’t yet counted Earth as one. 

And the other exception is Uranus.

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In transcript Tags history, words, language, etymology, space, planets, Uranus, solar system, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Neptune, Caelus, Pluto, Earth, astronomy, astronomers, Johann Bode, William Herschel, Georgian, George III, King George III, Nevil Maskelyne, galaxy, space words, Latin, Ancient Greek, deities, gods, goddesses, Gaia, Cronus, Titans, Furies, Hecatoncheires, Cyclopses, Giants, Nymphs, Ourania Aphrodite, sky, rain, rainmaker, Sanskrit, urine, myths, legends, songs, music, names, naming, International Astronomical Union, orbit, comet, apport, eccentric

Allusionist 165 Fiona part 1 transcript

November 22, 2022 The Allusionist

HARRY JOSIE GILES: Fiona is a name I think now that still has a slightly romantic, slightly historical Scottish feel. I think everyone thinks it's an old Scottish name, but it's not an old Scottish name!

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In transcript Tags arts, literature, lexicon, vocabulary, etymology, history, Harry Josie Giles, Moll Heaton-Callaway, Fiona Macleod, William Sharp, Elizabeth Sharp, Wilfion, Scotland, Scottish, Gaelic, Celtic Revival, Celtic, Highlands, Lowlands, WB Yeats, poetry, novels, letters, correspondence, handwriting, LGBTQIA+, pseudonyms, alter egos, trans, gender, gender fluidity, Elena Ferrante, authors, publishing, writers, writing, cultural appropriation, names, naming, census, records, boats, celsitude

Allusionist 88. Name Changers - transcript

November 2, 2018 The Allusionist
A88 Name Changers logo.jpg

I changed my name because my parents spelled it wrong.

Why did I change my name? I didn't like it!

I have legally changed my name twice now, first and last. My parents tell this cute story about choosing my name the night before I was born. But as I was growing up, it was one of the most common names for female dogs.

I found out when I was about 12 that I was actually named for an actress that my dad had had a crush on when he was a kid, so I thought that was a bit weird and I didn't really want to hang on to that.

When I was born my parents could not agree on a name for me, and on their last day in the hospital after I was born they were watching the news and there was a missing children's report on the TV with a little girl named Ashleigh, and I was named after her.

Choosing a new name allowed me to drop a lot of the old baggage with the old identity without feeling as though I were betraying it.

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In transcript Tags words, language, linguistics, education, comedy, entertainment, society & culture, arts, literature, Helen Zaltzman, names, naming, Name Season, monikers, feelings, identity, culture, name change, changing name, gender, trans, transgender, transition, non binary, dead name, doxxing, relationships, parents, family, father, mother, childhood, children

Allusionist 87. Name v Law - transcript

October 19, 2018 The Allusionist
A87+Name+v+Law+logo.jpg

JÓN GNARR: I had a daughter in 92, and she was named Camilla after her grandmother, it was Camilla with a C, spelled with a C. And so when I got the confirmation note from the National Registry, where they tell you that your child is now named something in the registry, they had spelled her name with a K. It's confirmed that the child Kamilla Jónssdóttir, blah blah blah. And I called them, because it was spelled with a C, and I just wanted to tell them it was a misunderstanding, my daughter's name is spelled with a C and she said yeah, wait, and I waited on the line and then she came back and she said no, it's no misunderstanding: C has been banned in the Icelandic alphabet.
HZ: C has been banned??
JÓN GNARR: C was banned. Yeah.

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In transcript Tags words, language, linguistics, education, comedy, entertainment, society & culture, arts, literature, Helen Zaltzman, names, naming, Name Season, monikers, feelings, identity, culture, Iceland, Icelandic, Scandinavia, Denmark, Nordic, immigrants, immigration, Icelandic Naming Committee, Jon Gnarr, laws, legal, law, name change, changing name, migration, Althingi, Mannanafnanefnd

Allusionist 86. Name Therapy - transcript

October 5, 2018 The Allusionist
A86 Name Therapy logo.jpg

DUANA TAHA: People's issues with the names they choose for their children, and even their own names, are almost never resolved. People don't talk about them. It's the word that you use the most often and the soonest to describe yourself, and yet nobody's really ever talked about how it makes me feel like this.

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In transcript Tags words, language, linguistics, education, comedy, entertainment, society & culture, arts, literature, Helen Zaltzman, names, naming, Name Season, monikers, Duana Taha, name therapy, name therapist, feelings, identity, Lainey Gossip

Allusionist 83. Yes, As In - transcript

August 24, 2018 The Allusionist
A83 Yes As In logo.jpg

TIGER WEBB: The broad thing about having unusual name is that it's a pretty effective substitute for an actual personality. I never had to develop one, because you could just do anything and people assume you’re interesting, or that there is some sort of grandiosity behind it.
HZ: Very colourful character.
TIGER WEBB: I'm really very boring and quiet. And the fact that I'm called Tiger I think does a lot to mask that. "Oh wow. Tiger, yeah, interesting fellow." I'm not though. But feel free to think that

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In transcript Tags words, language, linguistics, education, comedy, entertainment, society & culture, Helen Zaltzman, Korean, Bertrand Russell, names, naming, childhood, babies, parents, birth, nominative determinism, personality, unusual names, character, fish, salmon, jewels, animals, tigers, birds, peregrine falcons, royalty, cinnamon, spices, food, jokes, bad jokes, conversation, small talk, William Blake, Tiger Woods, Pokemon, Tiger Webb, Paul Bae, Emerald Paston, Sapphire Paston, Steve Pretty, Cinnamon Nippard, Princess Ojiaku, Loveis Wise, Dennis Funk, Phoebe Judge, Criminal, Caspar Salmon, Peregrine Andrews

Allusionist 37: Brand It - transcript

May 29, 2016 The Allusionist

There are a few things to consider when naming a podcast:

  • Is someone using the name already? That’s important: do your research; at the very least, go to the iTunes store and check.
  • Is the name such a common word or phrase that your show will not appear in the first thousand pages of Google results?
  • Is the name a riff on a pre-existing title, like That American Life, so no matter how successful your show gets, it will never completely be your own, and always a bit of a parasite on someone else's thing?
  • Is it a riff on ‘pod’ or ‘cast’? That was already stale when I was starting my first podcast nearly ten years ago. Resist the pod puns!
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In transcript Tags words, names, naming, brands, branding, companies, Roman Mars, Nancy Friedman, 99% Invisible, podcasting, podcasts
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Allusionist 233. Phobia
Allusionist 233. Phobia

'Phobia' gets used for anything from a mild aversion to a debilitating anxiety response to various forms of bigotry. Deboki Chakravarti and Sam Jones of the podcast Tiny Matters join to consider the term from its comedic origins with one of the founding fathers of the USA, via rabies and Greek deities, to its role in their lives today.

CONTENT NOTE: we’re not trying to stoke anyone’s phobias, but we do discuss some common phobia-inducers, including snakes, germs and small holes, and there’s a brief mention of tarantulas. There’s also talk about OCD and rabies.

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Allusionist 232. Vega
Allusionist 232. Vega

What do you call yourself if you're a part-time vegetarian? What petty linguistic things would you change? And what do you do if people gripe at you if you say that you are bi or pan? To answer these questions from the Allusionist mailbag are esteemed alumsionists: Hrishikesh Hirway and Samin Nosrat of Home Cooking podcast; academic and author Alex Ketchum; lexicographer Kory Stamper; and linguist Lauren Gawne of Lingthusiasm podcast.

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Tranquillusionist: cheesy cheesybobs
Tranquillusionist: cheesy cheesybobs

This is the Tranquillusionist, in which I, Helen Zaltzman, say a series of words to relax your mind, replace a hectic interior monologue, maybe lull you to sleep, hopefully quell the mental uproar just for a little while.

Today: nicknames for woodlice AKA rolypoly bugs AKA slaters AKA all these other things; and a list of cheeses from Great Britain and Ireland.

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sorry lads, we're getting bad ads

TL;DR version:

  • For the show's financial survival (hopefully), over the next few weeks I'm having to switch on programmatic advertisements. This means, for the first time in the show's nearly 12-year existence, you may be subjected to ads that are not voiced, scripted and individually approved by me.

  • If you would prefer to listen to the show without ads in it, patreonise the show at the Gravy, Wedge or Check tiers, which include the perk of an ad-free RSS feed.

Click through to read the rest of the post about why I’m doing this thing I don’t want to do.

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Allusionist 231. Lingthusionist
Allusionist 231. Lingthusionist

“Linguistics and language is such a good mechanism for being curious,” says Lauren Gawne, linguistics prof, author of the book Gesture, and cohost of the podcast Lingthusiasm. I'm in vacation mode (although not on actual vacation alas), so today's episode is a fun chat with our nice pal about making language podcasts, the firey digestive punishments for linguistics researchers, working in reality television, and cute tame nouns versus scary intimidating verbs.

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Allusionist 230. Draculae part 4: Transformation
Allusionist 230. Draculae part 4: Transformation

Throughout the Draculae miniseries, about the Swedish and Icelandic translations of Dracula that played fast and loose with the original text, I've been wondering a couple of questions: why are cover versions of songs and remakes of films so normal and acceptable, whereas cover versions in book form cause such a stir? And do these Scandinavian Draculae count as fan fiction? And if not, why not? Fansplaining.com's Elizabeth Minkel explains what fan fiction can mean.

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Allusionist 229. Draculae part 3: Hunting Down the Count
Allusionist 229. Draculae part 3: Hunting Down the Count

Many mysteries accompany the revelations that Powers of Darkness, the Icelandic and Swedish versions of Dracula, are not direct translations of Bram Stoker's original, but stories that significantly differ in character names, plot and runtime. Like: did Bram Stoker write it himself, to publish some raunchy content that British censors would forbid? Was Powers of Darkness based on his early drafts? And did he really not copyright Dracula in the USA was that a deliberate ruse? Welllll... brace yourself for ole thrill-destroyer Zaltzman to pop your balloons of excitement.

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queer playlist
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Allusionist 228. Draculae part 2: Surprises in the Vaults
Allusionist 228. Draculae part 2: Surprises in the Vaults

Happy World Dracula Day to all who celebrate!

This is the second episode of the Draculae miniseries, about a literary mystery which came to me via a meme: “Someone translated Dracula into Icelandic, and it took over 100 years for anyone to point out he just made a fanfic rewrite of what he wanted the story to be.”

In Draculae part 2, Ásgeir Jónsson explains how he got that Icelandic adaptation of Dracula back into print, to little fanfare - but then Dutch scholar Hans Corneel de Roos set about making an English translation. Following that: like me, Will Trimble also got meme-struck, and that propelled him to get a translation of the Swedish version that begat the Icelandic one.

Before listening to this, check out the first episode of the Draculae miniseries explaining the three versions of Dracula: Dracula published by Bram Stoker in 1897; the Icelandic version Makt Myrkranna by newspaper editor Valdimar Ásmundsson, serialised in his newspaper Fyallkonan in 1900-1901; and the Swedish version Mörkrets makter by an author known only as A—e, and serialised in a couple of Swedish newspapers 1899-1900.

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Allusionist 227. Draculae part 1: Enter the Castle
Allusionist 227. Draculae part 1: Enter the Castle

A literary mystery came to me via a meme.

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Allusionist 226. Suburbia
Allusionist 226. Suburbia

"The word ‘suburbia’ sort of evokes a very fixed idea of a place that is identikit, that all suburbs are the same, that within the suburb everything is the same, that all people are the same, all experiences are the same," says social historian and author John Grindrod. "I think it has this kind of flattening-out facility, that word, that isn't true."

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Allusionist 225. Hues
Allusionist 225. Hues

You know what's an absolutely pesky kind of word to define in a dictionary? Colour names. A passel of lexicographers spent years - decades, even - trying different ways to describe colours in words for Webster's Third International Dictionary. It was such a huge, complicated effort that it took twelve years for former Merriam-Webster lexicographer Kory Stamper to write a book about it.

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Allusionist 224. Cosmic Hairball
Allusionist 224. Cosmic Hairball

Pack your oxygen tank, we're going up to space. There’s a lot of etymology up there.

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Allusionist 223. Bonus 2025
Allusionist 223. Bonus 2025
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Allusionist 222. A Christmas Carol
Allusionist 222. A Christmas Carol

Today, we read the novelisation of The Muppet Christmas Carol, also known as the 1843 festive lit hit A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens.

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Creative Commons Licence
The Allusionist by Helen Zaltzman is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.