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The Allusionist

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A PODCAST ABOUT LANGUAGE
BY HELEN ZALTZMAN

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The Allusionist

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Allusionist 173 Death transcript

March 24, 2023 The Allusionist

EVIE KING: I mean, if I was to google synonyms of ‘dead’ - let's try that. Synonyms, ‘dead’. See what comes up. ‘Deceased.’

HZ: ‘Deceased’ is just Latin for death.

EVIE KING: ‘Late’, ‘lost’, ‘lamented’...

HZ: ‘Lamented’! 

EVIE KING: ‘Expired’ - expired! Like a cheese. ‘Departed’. ‘Gone’. ‘No more. ‘Fallen. ‘Slain’. Now you're starting to infer causes of death. ‘Slaughtered’, ‘killed’ - see, it escalates quickly. There’s not much, there's not much is there?

HZ: Which is odd considering how much death there is everywhere for everyone.

EVIE KING: Yeah, you get more, more synonyms for very boring words, don't you, very workaday words. I think basically maybe it comes down to the fact that dead is dead and we all know what that means, universally dead is dead, and there's no getting away from it, there's no escaping it and there's no getting around it. So we just have to face that word and use it. And if we don't feel like saying dead, we'll just go “passed away”. 

HZ: Maybe that's the thing: maybe we don't need new vocabulary yet until we've learnt to get comfortable with ‘dead’.

EVIE KING: And then we can start really jazzing it up. Creating fun terms! Like, you know, when you get things like ‘bottomless brunch’ - that kind of thing for ‘dead’. I think we all know we've arrived when we've got a jazzy snazzy word for ‘dead’. 

HZ: Something to look forward to.

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In episodes Tags etymology, Helen Zaltzman, words, language, linguistics, education, society & culture, arts, literature, lexicon, vocabulary, history, death, died, dead, grief, passed, bereavement, bereft, Cariad Lloyd, Evie King, funerals, posthumous, anticipatory grief, admin, paperwork, eulogy, platitudes, Sweden, Swedish, wills, bum-bailiff

Allusionist 129 Sorry transcript

January 31, 2021 The Allusionist
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MARJORIE INGALL: We dislike "for any hurt caused", "for anyone who was offended", because the "any" implies maybe it was no one. And it's clear that if you're apologising, someone was offended. It's not in any sort of airy-fairy situation. That's another way, again, it's all about distancing yourself from what you did.
HZ: Yeah, and removing agency.
MARJORIE INGALL: Yes.
SUSAN McCARTHY: If your castle is surrounded by people shouting with pitchforks and torches, and you're up on the battlements shouting, "Sorry if I caused any offence," you know you caused offence.

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In episodes Tags words, language, linguistics, education, comedy, entertainment, society & culture, arts, literature, etymology, lexicon, vocabulary, Laura Beaudin, Laura Lakhian, Marjorie Ingall, Susan McCarthy, SorryWatch, apology, fauxpology, contrition, public apologies, sorry, regret, remorse, reparations, offence, responsibility, emotions, corporate, corporations, government, state, relationships, speech acts, semiotics, celebrities, Justin Trudeau, agency, vulnerability, passive voice, verbs, nouns, adjectives, conditionals, misdirection, mitigation, noria

Allusionist 121 No Title transcript

September 14, 2020 The Allusionist
About to go onstage to perform No Title for the first time, at SF Sketchfest 2019 at the Brava Theatre in San Francisco. Photo by Martin Austwick.

About to go onstage to perform No Title for the first time, at SF Sketchfest 2019 at the Brava Theatre in San Francisco. Photo by Martin Austwick.

The bank clerk scrolls down and down this list of titles and honorifics, this enormous list of different ways to present ourselves, and I just want an option that doesn’t reflect my marital status, because why did all the available male titles not reflect marital status whereas female ones did? And come to think of it, why do titles reflect gender anyway? Why does anything reflect gender? What is the point of gender?

I was asking a question I am not intelligent enough to answer. And I wasn’t expecting this moment, in the bank, on a seemingly trivial and pointless mission, to be my introduction to gender studies and queer theory, but you don’t necessarily get to choose the learning moments of your life.

And in case you’re sitting there thinking, “Well. If if it’s SO important to you to have a title that does not reflect your marital status or your gender, why don’t you just become a rabbi?” Well, my family lapsed HARD. None of us is becoming a rabbi. We’d never make it. They can see the bacon in our eyes.

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In live recording, episodes Tags words, language, linguistics, education, comedy, entertainment, society & culture, arts, literature, Helen Zaltzman, etymology, lexicon, vocabulary, live show, live recording, performance, No Title, gender, sex, identity, pronouns, titles, singular they, they, non-conforming, fluid, rank, hierarchy, marriage, social status, status, aristocracy, doctor, doctorate, Latin, Ms, Mrs, Master, Mister, Mr, Dr, Mx, ip, gender neutral, gender free, gender neutral pronouns, gender free pronouns, Ms Magazine, Ms Marvel, Sheila Michaels, feminism, feminists, tombstones, graves, gravestones, Downton Abbey, William and the Werewolf, medieval, Italian, Italy, signora, signorina, Frau, Fräulein, mademoiselle, madame, Académie Française, Mondamoiseau, Z, Mre, Russian, Russia, manners, politeness, etiquette, seamtress, seamster, manhole, you, ey, Martin Austwick

Tranquillusionist: Home and Garden transcript

August 28, 2020 The Allusionist
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This is the Tranquillusionist: Home and Garden Edition, in which I, Helen Zaltzman, read the names of original programmes on HGTV, and the copy from lawnmower ads from before I was born.

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In Tranquillusionist, transcript, episodes Tags Helen Zaltzman, words, language, serene, serenity, ASMR, calm, calmness, meditation, sleep, mood, Tranquillusionist, anti-anxiety mulching, mulchers, mulch, grass, cuttings, grass cuttings, mowers, lawns, lawnmowers, mowing, gardens, yards, lawncare, HGTV, homes, houses, reno, property, urticate

2018 Extra Special QUIZ! - interactive transcript

December 18, 2018 The Allusionist
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For a bit of fun to celebrate Radiotopia’s 2018 fundraiser, this episode is a wordy quiz for you to play along with as you listen.

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In Radiotopia, call to action, episodes Tags words, language, linguistics, education, comedy, entertainment, society & culture, arts, literature, Helen Zaltzman, Avery Trufelman, Articles of Interest, Roman Mars, 99% Invisible, 99PI, Nate DiMeo, The Memory Palace, Benjamen Walker, Benjamen Walker’s Theory of Everything, Hrishikesh Hirway, Song Exploder, The West Wing Weekly, Jen Poyant, Manoush Zomorodi, ZigZag, Jonathan Mitchell, The Truth, Radio Diaries, Joe Richman, podcast, podcasts, podcasters, quiz, questions, eponyms, history, etymology, phrases, idioms, animals, hedgehogs, turkey, urchins, botulism, sausage, Latin, i, tittle, diacritics, Bible, euphemisms, foot, aglet, clothing, shoes, shoelaces, fashion, garb, garments, apparel, clothing terminology, terminology, diseases, medieval, castles, toilets, WC, garderobe, wardrobe, clothes, bathroom, ammonia, hygiene, faeces, waste disposal, evacuations, bodily functions, mistranslation, Vulgate Bible, dogs, feist, feisty, fart, meat, cold shoulder, expressions, Pogs, juice, Hawaii, passion fruit orange and guava, POG, turkeys, Turkey, poultry, names, imports, Aztecs, India, trade, Peru, geography, New World, Christopher Columbus, horror, burpees, exercises, exercise, physical exertion, George Washington Gale Ferris Jr, Ferris wheels, pleasure wheels, inventions, strongmen, World’s Fair, zeppelins, Led Zeppelin, Ferdinand von Zeppelin, bands, music, name changes, lawsuits, fur, fabric, felt, cloth, Stetson, hats, John B. Stetson, genitalia, genitals, penis, Radiotopian guest appearance

Allusionist 81. Shark Week - transcript

July 27, 2018 The Allusionist
A81+Shark+Week+logo.jpg

HZ: There used to be a term ‘goatmilker’, it was a bird that was believed to suck milk from goats at night, but it was also slang for sex workers, and therefore slang for vulvas.
HRISHIKESH HIRWAY: Wow.
HZ: Licentious men were known as ‘goatmilkers’, because they were frequenting these sex workers in the 17th century when this word was around.
HRISHIKESH HIRWAY: Again, not enough poetry in that for me.
HZ: Too vulgar for you?
HRISHIKESH HIRWAY: Yes, for my delicate sensibilities.

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In Radiotopia, episodes Tags The Beatles, indifference, emotions, nouns, verbs, adjectives, beyond the pale, phrases, sayings, ghetto, pale, impale, fences, Irish Pale, Russian Pale, Calais Pale, oppression, Jews, mood, ambivalence, testicles, balls, crotch, genitals, law, swearing, witness, testify, testis, ovaries, legal system, etymology, anatomy, Latin, Greek, ancient languages, Bible, supplication, stones, nuts, eggs, slang, avocados, Spanish, onomatopoeia, cinnamon, food, food styling, food stylists, brands, Chinese, it’s all Greek to me, typography, scribes, writing, placeholder, goats, capers, capering, foodstuffs, caprice, caprine, G.O.A.T., sharks, sea creatures, fish, Jaws, Mayan, xoc, German, sea-dog, dogs, loan shark, allusion, allude, Hrishikesh Hirway, Song Exploder, The West Wing Weekly, words, history, language, linguistics, expressions, Italian, goatmilker, education, comedy, entertainment, society & culture, arts, literature, Helen Zaltzman, lexicon, vocabulary
Allusionist Patreon
Featured
Allusionist 233. Phobia
Allusionist 233. Phobia

'Phobia' gets used for anything from a mild aversion to a debilitating anxiety response to various forms of bigotry. Deboki Chakravarti and Sam Jones of the podcast Tiny Matters join to consider the term from its comedic origins with one of the founding fathers of the USA, via rabies and Greek deities, to its role in their lives today.

CONTENT NOTE: we’re not trying to stoke anyone’s phobias, but we do discuss some common phobia-inducers, including snakes, germs and small holes, and there’s a brief mention of tarantulas. There’s also talk about OCD and rabies.

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Allusionist 232. Vega
Allusionist 232. Vega

What do you call yourself if you're a part-time vegetarian? What petty linguistic things would you change? And what do you do if people gripe at you if you say that you are bi or pan? To answer these questions from the Allusionist mailbag are esteemed alumsionists: Hrishikesh Hirway and Samin Nosrat of Home Cooking podcast; academic and author Alex Ketchum; lexicographer Kory Stamper; and linguist Lauren Gawne of Lingthusiasm podcast.

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Tranquillusionist: cheesy cheesybobs
Tranquillusionist: cheesy cheesybobs

This is the Tranquillusionist, in which I, Helen Zaltzman, say a series of words to relax your mind, replace a hectic interior monologue, maybe lull you to sleep, hopefully quell the mental uproar just for a little while.

Today: nicknames for woodlice AKA rolypoly bugs AKA slaters AKA all these other things; and a list of cheeses from Great Britain and Ireland.

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sorry lads, we're getting bad ads

TL;DR version:

  • For the show's financial survival (hopefully), over the next few weeks I'm having to switch on programmatic advertisements. This means, for the first time in the show's nearly 12-year existence, you may be subjected to ads that are not voiced, scripted and individually approved by me.

  • If you would prefer to listen to the show without ads in it, patreonise the show at the Gravy, Wedge or Check tiers, which include the perk of an ad-free RSS feed.

Click through to read the rest of the post about why I’m doing this thing I don’t want to do.

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Allusionist 231. Lingthusionist
Allusionist 231. Lingthusionist

“Linguistics and language is such a good mechanism for being curious,” says Lauren Gawne, linguistics prof, author of the book Gesture, and cohost of the podcast Lingthusiasm. I'm in vacation mode (although not on actual vacation alas), so today's episode is a fun chat with our nice pal about making language podcasts, the firey digestive punishments for linguistics researchers, working in reality television, and cute tame nouns versus scary intimidating verbs.

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Allusionist 230. Draculae part 4: Transformation
Allusionist 230. Draculae part 4: Transformation

Throughout the Draculae miniseries, about the Swedish and Icelandic translations of Dracula that played fast and loose with the original text, I've been wondering a couple of questions: why are cover versions of songs and remakes of films so normal and acceptable, whereas cover versions in book form cause such a stir? And do these Scandinavian Draculae count as fan fiction? And if not, why not? Fansplaining.com's Elizabeth Minkel explains what fan fiction can mean.

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Allusionist 229. Draculae part 3: Hunting Down the Count
Allusionist 229. Draculae part 3: Hunting Down the Count

Many mysteries accompany the revelations that Powers of Darkness, the Icelandic and Swedish versions of Dracula, are not direct translations of Bram Stoker's original, but stories that significantly differ in character names, plot and runtime. Like: did Bram Stoker write it himself, to publish some raunchy content that British censors would forbid? Was Powers of Darkness based on his early drafts? And did he really not copyright Dracula in the USA was that a deliberate ruse? Welllll... brace yourself for ole thrill-destroyer Zaltzman to pop your balloons of excitement.

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queer playlist
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Allusionist 228. Draculae part 2: Surprises in the Vaults
Allusionist 228. Draculae part 2: Surprises in the Vaults

Happy World Dracula Day to all who celebrate!

This is the second episode of the Draculae miniseries, about a literary mystery which came to me via a meme: “Someone translated Dracula into Icelandic, and it took over 100 years for anyone to point out he just made a fanfic rewrite of what he wanted the story to be.”

In Draculae part 2, Ásgeir Jónsson explains how he got that Icelandic adaptation of Dracula back into print, to little fanfare - but then Dutch scholar Hans Corneel de Roos set about making an English translation. Following that: like me, Will Trimble also got meme-struck, and that propelled him to get a translation of the Swedish version that begat the Icelandic one.

Before listening to this, check out the first episode of the Draculae miniseries explaining the three versions of Dracula: Dracula published by Bram Stoker in 1897; the Icelandic version Makt Myrkranna by newspaper editor Valdimar Ásmundsson, serialised in his newspaper Fyallkonan in 1900-1901; and the Swedish version Mörkrets makter by an author known only as A—e, and serialised in a couple of Swedish newspapers 1899-1900.

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Allusionist 227. Draculae part 1: Enter the Castle
Allusionist 227. Draculae part 1: Enter the Castle

A literary mystery came to me via a meme.

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Allusionist 226. Suburbia
Allusionist 226. Suburbia

"The word ‘suburbia’ sort of evokes a very fixed idea of a place that is identikit, that all suburbs are the same, that within the suburb everything is the same, that all people are the same, all experiences are the same," says social historian and author John Grindrod. "I think it has this kind of flattening-out facility, that word, that isn't true."

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Allusionist 225. Hues
Allusionist 225. Hues

You know what's an absolutely pesky kind of word to define in a dictionary? Colour names. A passel of lexicographers spent years - decades, even - trying different ways to describe colours in words for Webster's Third International Dictionary. It was such a huge, complicated effort that it took twelve years for former Merriam-Webster lexicographer Kory Stamper to write a book about it.

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Allusionist 224. Cosmic Hairball
Allusionist 224. Cosmic Hairball

Pack your oxygen tank, we're going up to space. There’s a lot of etymology up there.

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Allusionist 223. Bonus 2025
Allusionist 223. Bonus 2025
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Allusionist 222. A Christmas Carol
Allusionist 222. A Christmas Carol

Today, we read the novelisation of The Muppet Christmas Carol, also known as the 1843 festive lit hit A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens.

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Creative Commons Licence
The Allusionist by Helen Zaltzman is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.