Allusionist 31: Post-Love

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Breaking up is hard to do, and it's hard to put into appropriate words.

Comedian Rosie Wilby seeks a better term for 'ex'; family law barrister Nick Allen runs through the vocabulary of divorce; and listeners share some of their worst break-up lines.

NOTE: this episode is not full of bawdy talk, but there are adult themes and a couple of category B swearwords.

A BIT (OF ADDITIONAL MATERIAL) ON THE SIDE:

• The Museum of Broken Relationships is coming to LA - do you have anything to exhibit?

• Listener Felipe reminded me about French artist Sophie Calle's Take Care Of Yourself, an exhibition about the email in which her boyfriend dumped her.

• Want more tales of break-ups? Get yourself to You Broke Up How?

• Here's Esther Perel on ghosting, AKA the coward's way out.

• Watch Rosie Wilby's TEDx talk 'Is Monogamy Dead?'

• Let the UK government explain the difference between civil partnership and same-sex marriage.

• Conscious uncoupling.

• Here's the transcript of the episode.

RANDOMLY SELECTED WORD FROM THE DICTIONARY:
quadrumanous

CREDITS:

• Rosie Wilby is a comedian and writer. You can find her live show dates, written work and more at rosiewilby.com and on Twitter @rosiewilby; you can hear her podcast, and her radio show Out in South London is on Resonance FM.

• Nick Allen is a family law barrister. I'm hoping you don't require the services of one of those, but if you do, Nick is the best.

• This episode was produced by me, Helen Zaltzman, with editorial help from Hrishikesh Hirway from Song Exploder. The music is by Martin Austwick.

• Don't go breaking my heart: let's keep our love alive at facebook.com/allusionistshow, twitter.com/allusionistshow and twitter.com/helenzaltzman.

Meet you back here in a fortnight.

- HZ

Allusionist 28: WLTM part I

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Your online dating profile is the latest spin on a 300-year-old tradition of advertising yourself in order to find a spouse, a sexual partner, or someone to take care of your pigs.

Francesca Beauman, author of Shapely Ankle Preferr’d: A History of the Lonely Hearts Ad, digs into lonely hearts ads to see how British society and desires have evolved over the past three centuries.

WARNING: Some of the content is a little saucy, but not, like, swimming in sauce.

READING MATTER:

• Reviews of hundreds of different dating sites? You got it.

• I love reading the Blind Dates in the Guardian each Saturday, and The Guyliner’s dissection thereof shortly afterwards.

• Atlas Obscura tests the Victorian seduction technique of reading aloud.

• Not so much a lonely heart ad as a curious soul ad, but it resulted in one of the most intriguing books I’ve ever read: The Life Swap by Nancy Weber. Read about it here (NB spoilers).

• Warlock: offensive term?

• The transcript of this episode is at theallusionist.org/transcripts/wltm-i.

RANDOMLY SELECTED WORD FROM THE DICTIONARY:
extraposition

CREDITS:

• Find Francesca Beauman at francescabeauman.com and buy her books, including the excellent Shapely Ankle Preferr’d, from your usual book-buying places.

• This episode was produced by me, Helen Zaltzman.

• Martin Austwick provided all the music.

• Matthew Crosby provided his voice.

• Allusionist listeners provided their dating profiles, for which I am extremely grateful.

• WLTM you at facebook.com/allusionistshow, twitter.com/allusionistshow and twitter.com/helenzaltzman.

This is a two-parter, and the second half is an absolute belter, so return next week to hear it.

- HZ

Allusionist 15: Step Away

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'Step-', as in stepparents or stepchildren, originated in grief. Family structures have evolved, but are stepmothers now so tainted by fairytale associations with the word 'wicked' that we need new terminology? Lore's Aaron Mahnke stops by to describe the lovelessness, literary tropes and life expectancy around 'step-'.

ADDITIONAL READING:

• Diagnose yourself with novercaphobia, if you must.

• But according to Neil Gaiman, in early versions of many of the Brothers Grimm's fairy tales, the evil stepmothers were actually evil bilogical mothers...

• Here's information about the study Aaron mentioned about 'The Cinderella Effect' upon stepchild mortality; there are some curious findings.

• Read about the ancient prototypes for Cinderella, and then some analysis of some of the newer spins on the tale.

• Or perhaps you'd prefer an annotated version of Hansel and Gretel, plus a load of different illustrators' takes on it.

• Have you seen the film Wicked Stepmother? No, nor have I. It is distinguished by being Bette Davis's final film, and seems to average around two stars out of five from what I've read about it.

• The transcript of this episode is here.

On Tuesday 4th August 2015 at 8pm UK time, 3pm ET, 12pm PT, I'll be doing a live discussion about this episode at spoken.am. Please come along to tell me what you think, divulge about your own steprelatives, and to ask me anything about the show.

Go to spoken.am to request your invite* and I'll see you there, yes? (Or you can catch up afterwards, if you must.)

UPDATE: Now that we are living in the post-live chat era, you can catch up at spoken.am/allusionist/step-away

*My school English teacher used to HATE people using 'invite' as a noun. I feel both guilty and slyly delighted to have done so just now.

RANDOMLY SELECTED WORD FROM THE DICTIONARY:
emolument

CREDITS:

• Aaron Mahnke hosts Lore podcast, about scary stories and folklore. Visit lorepodcast.com, and find more of Aaron's work including his books at aaronmahnke.com.

• Big sloppy thanks are served to all the listeners who answered my plea and kindly contributed their thoughts about step-terms.

• This episode was produced by me, Helen Zaltzman. All the music is by Martin Austwick. Hear and/or download more - WITH LYRICS! - at thesoundoftheladies.bandcamp.com.

• Say hello to me at facebook.com/allusionistshow, twitter.com/allusionistshow and twitter.com/helenzaltzman.

Back in a fortnight. Don't let anyone turn you into a pumpkin in the meantime.

- HZ