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The Allusionist

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A PODCAST ABOUT LANGUAGE
BY HELEN ZALTZMAN

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The Allusionist

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Allusionist 221. Scribe

November 24, 2025 The Allusionist

"I have never felt so naked. That's how exposed I felt at the idea that my handwriting was going to be seen by the world," says Tim Brookes, founder of the Endangered Alphabets Project and author of the new book about handwriting By Hand: Can the Art of Writing Be Saved? Writing the book (yes, by hand!) celebrates the act of handwriting, even overcoming the shame arising from his own.

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In episodes Tags society, culture, words, language, books, arts, handwriting, writing, pens, quills, brushes, calligraphy, script, Tim Brookes, alphabets, writing systems, endangered alphabets, printing, letters, lettering, cursive, shame, Ewan Clayton, Marion Richardson, education, teaching, school, childhood, Chinese, Japanese, physical, embodiment, movement, motion, gesture, ligatures, communication, technology, graffiti, glyphs, graphemes, legibility, oppression, Survival, colonisation, revitalisation, enfleurage

Allusionist 205. Lexicat, part 2: now with added Dog

December 6, 2024 The Allusionist
a boggle board spelling out the word 'lexicat' in one corner and 'dog' in the opposite corner. Between them is a green die showing the number 2

In Lexicat part 1, we met the author Mary Robinette Kowal and her cat Elsie, and learned about how they communicate via a set of buttons programmed with words. In part 2, two talking dogs, Bastian and Parker - and their humans, Joelle Andres and Sascha Crasnow - join us too, and explain how they discovered some very unexpected things about what their animal companions are thinking and feeling thanks to the buttons, and how they changed the ways they communicate with other humans too. And animal behaviour expert Zazie Todd gives us some tips for interpreting cats’ and dogs’ body language.

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In episodes Tags Lexicat, animals, cats, dogs, companion animals, pets, communication, species, buttons, Mary Robinette Kowal, Elsie, Zazie Todd, animal behaviour, AIC, Augmentative Interspecies Communication, emotions, animal psychology, psychology, socialisation, canine, feline, pet directed speech, learning, semantics, syntax, Bastian, Parker, Sascha Crasnow, Joelle Andres, Parkinson’s Disease, dementia, two hand choice, choice, body language, wagging, tails, lies, deceit, yarborough

Allusionist 204. Lexicat, part 1

November 24, 2024 The Allusionist

Elsie the cat has a set of 120 buttons programmed with words. She uses them to lie, swear, apologise, express grief and frustration and love to her human, the author Mary Robinette Kowal, who talks about what's involved in learning to communicate via language buttons with companion animals. And animal behaviour expert Zazie Todd explains how animals might be interacting with human language. 

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In episodes Tags animals, cats, dogs, companion animals, pets, communication, species, buttons, Mary Robinette Kowal, Elsie, Zazie Todd, animal behaviour, Christina Hunger, AIC, Augmentative Interspecies Communication, swearing, emotions, animal psychology, psychology, Washoe, Kanzi, socialisation, nicknames, canine, feline, swears, litterbox, cursing, pet directed speech, pitch, tone, anxiety, learning, mewing, meows, research, semantics, nomology, Lexicat, verbing nouns

Allusionist 203. Flyting

November 9, 2024 The Allusionist

In 15th and 16th century Scotland, in the highest courts of the land, you'd find esteemed poets hurling insults at each other. This was flyting, a sort of medieval equivalent of battle rap, and it was so popular at the time that the King himself wrote instructions for how to do it well. Writer and Scots language campaigner Ishbel McFarlane and historical linguist Joanna Kopaczyk explain the art of flyting, where an insult becomes slander, what's going on within the speech act of performative diss-trading, and what the legal consequences could be of being accused of witchcraft.

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In episodes Tags society, culture, words, language, arts, history, Ishbel McFarlane, Joanna Kopaczyk, Scots, Scotland, Scottish, flyting, fleetan, poets, poetry, medieval, court, royal, monarchs, kings, James IV, James VI, writers, entertainment, combat, performance, insults, slurs, swears, obscenity, comedy, literature, printing press, legal, law, witches, witchcraft, trials, lawsuits, roast, vulgarity, abuse, scat, makars, historical pragmatics, rhyme, alliteration, taboos, offensive, offence, owls, contests, competitions, politeness, impoliteness, profanity, speech acts, communication, rude, slander, music hall, Virgil, Aeneid, grampus, shit, shite, fuck

Allusionist 192: Word Play part 2

April 9, 2024 The Allusionist

This episode, and the next couple of episodes, are about word games! Today, Joshua Blackburn recounts how his sons' uninspiring English homework led to him inventing the language quiz game League of the Lexicon; and Kathryn Hymes and Hakan Seyalıoğlu of Thorny Games explain how they make topics like language loss and deciphering alien language into creative play.

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In episodes, Word Play Tags language, games, play, playing, fun, word play, Joshua Blackburn, Thorny Games, Kathryn Hymes, Hakan Seyalıoğlu, story, storytelling, communal, community, Dialect, Sign, Nicaraguan Sign Language, sign language, Nicaragua, aphasia, Xenolanguage, aliens, first contact, communication, Dungeons and Dragons, DnD, D&D, lunula

Allusionist 135. SOS

May 13, 2021 The Allusionist
A135 SOS logo small.jpeg

SOS is a really versatile distress call. You can shout it; you can tap it out in Morse code; you can honk it on a horn; you can signal it with flashes of light; you can spell it out on the beach with debris from your wrecked ship.

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In episodes Tags Christian Ostersehlte, Paul Tyreman, SOS, CQD, CQ, mayday, codes, calls, distress, emergency, ships, shipping, maritime, boats, vessels, sea travel, sea, sailors, signals, communication, telegraphy, radio, wireless, technology, history, Titanic, acronyms, backronyms, false etymology, Germany, UK, Britain, Italy, Marconi, flags, Samuel Morse, Morse code

Allusionist 114. Alarm Bells

February 24, 2020 The Allusionist
A114 logo Alarm Bells.jpg

How to communicate about climate in a way that results in useful action.

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In episodes Tags words, language, linguistics, education, comedy, entertainment, society & culture, arts, literature, Helen Zaltzman, etymology, lexicon, vocabulary, Alice Bell, Amy Westervelt, Robin Webster, climate, environment, climate change, climate crisis, climate emergency, fossil fuel, fuel, coal, natural gas, oil, energy, renewables, renewable energy, scicomm, green, clean, clean energy, PR, propaganda, industry, oil industry, natural resources, eco, ecology, Frank Luntz, fossils, manipulation, sustainable, sustainability, conversation, emotions, technology, blame, shame, guilt, greenwashing, Jay Westerveld, greenhouse effect, alarms, action, communication, science, scientists, evidence, alarmist, activists, global heating, global warming, warmists, Joseph Fourier, Nils Ekholm, John Henry Poynting, euphemisms, metaphor, flight shame, journalists, journalism, climate silence, fear, courage, flying, flight, hope, astroturfing, AstroTurf, ChemGrass, sceptics, climate sceptic, climate denier, radical, revolution, tech

Allusionist 56+12. Joins & Pride

June 7, 2019 The Allusionist
A100-5 Joins Pride logo.jpg

To celebrate Pride Month, I’m playing two of the Allusionist episodes that have stuck with me the most during the show’s existence.

The first is Joins. You listeners talk about your particular experiences in your trans bodies, dealing with the available vocabulary for sex and the associated body parts. 

Second is Pride: the story of how that word was chosen in 1970 for LGBTQ Pride events.

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In episodes Tags words, language, linguistics, education, comedy, entertainment, society & culture, arts, literature, Helen Zaltzman, etymology, lexicon, history, pride, Gay Pride, gay, homosexuality, LGBT, Stonewall, demonstrations, oppression, Aristotle, civil rights, Quakers, Christopher Street, Stonewall Riots, New York City, Mayor Lindsay, trans, gender, LBGTQI, bodies, body, body parts, sex, dysphoria, communication, queer, proem, genitalia, genitals

Allusionist 80. Warm Front

June 15, 2018 The Allusionist
A80 Warm Front logo.jpg

Today will be fine.

But wait: fine as in 'OK', fine as in 'really rather good', or fine as in 'no precipitation'? When you're a TV weather forecaster, you have to deal with the mismatch of your specialist vocabulary with that of the meteorological laypeople watching - as well as cover all the weather across a whole country, translate conditions into something the viewer can identify with, and warn people about cyclones without making them too panicked. (Or not panicked enough - do take sensible cyclone precautions, people!)

Nate Byrne, who presents the weather for the Australian Broadcasting Corporation's News Breakfast, breezes in to shower us with meteorological knowledge.

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In episodes Tags words, language, communication, science, weather, meteorology, meteor, meteorologist, science communication, scicomm, clouds, rain, storms, cyclones, weather forecasts, television, TV, Australia, jargon, terminology, emotion, facts, wind, climate, showers, sun, sultry, knots, Beaufort Scale, numbers, sky, Nate Byrne, ABC

Allusionist 72. Hey

February 9, 2018 The Allusionist
A72 Hey logo.jpg

"Hey."
"Going to the supermarket, want me to get you anything?"
"Puppies or ice cream?"
"What's your glasses prescription?"
"I wanna ***** your *********."

If you've used a dating app, maybe you've received one of the above messages from a stranger, or sent them. Striking up an interaction with someone is a tricky business. Why Oh Why and The Longest Shortest Time host Andrea Silenzi opens up her phone to analyse the kinds of opening messages people send on dating apps, and how easily they can land badly. 

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In episodes Tags dating, online, online dating, dates, apps, technology, opening lines, approaches, conversation, small talk, strangers, Andrea Silenzi, Why Oh Why, The Longest Shortest Time, love, romance, Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, Grindr, OK Cupid, messaging, messages, communication, digital communication
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Allusionist 233. Phobia
Allusionist 233. Phobia

'Phobia' gets used for anything from a mild aversion to a debilitating anxiety response to various forms of bigotry. Deboki Chakravarti and Sam Jones of the podcast Tiny Matters join to consider the term from its comedic origins with one of the founding fathers of the USA, via rabies and Greek deities, to its role in their lives today.

CONTENT NOTE: we’re not trying to stoke anyone’s phobias, but we do discuss some common phobia-inducers, including snakes, germs and small holes, and there’s a brief mention of tarantulas. There’s also talk about OCD and rabies.

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Allusionist 232. Vega
Allusionist 232. Vega

What do you call yourself if you're a part-time vegetarian? What petty linguistic things would you change? And what do you do if people gripe at you if you say that you are bi or pan? To answer these questions from the Allusionist mailbag are esteemed alumsionists: Hrishikesh Hirway and Samin Nosrat of Home Cooking podcast; academic and author Alex Ketchum; lexicographer Kory Stamper; and linguist Lauren Gawne of Lingthusiasm podcast.

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Tranquillusionist: cheesy cheesybobs
Tranquillusionist: cheesy cheesybobs

This is the Tranquillusionist, in which I, Helen Zaltzman, say a series of words to relax your mind, replace a hectic interior monologue, maybe lull you to sleep, hopefully quell the mental uproar just for a little while.

Today: nicknames for woodlice AKA rolypoly bugs AKA slaters AKA all these other things; and a list of cheeses from Great Britain and Ireland.

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78AF926C-7878-4567-A87F-13CFF415B647_1_105_c.jpeg
sorry lads, we're getting bad ads

TL;DR version:

  • For the show's financial survival (hopefully), over the next few weeks I'm having to switch on programmatic advertisements. This means, for the first time in the show's nearly 12-year existence, you may be subjected to ads that are not voiced, scripted and individually approved by me.

  • If you would prefer to listen to the show without ads in it, patreonise the show at the Gravy, Wedge or Check tiers, which include the perk of an ad-free RSS feed.

Click through to read the rest of the post about why I’m doing this thing I don’t want to do.

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Allusionist 231. Lingthusionist
Allusionist 231. Lingthusionist

“Linguistics and language is such a good mechanism for being curious,” says Lauren Gawne, linguistics prof, author of the book Gesture, and cohost of the podcast Lingthusiasm. I'm in vacation mode (although not on actual vacation alas), so today's episode is a fun chat with our nice pal about making language podcasts, the firey digestive punishments for linguistics researchers, working in reality television, and cute tame nouns versus scary intimidating verbs.

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Allusionist 230. Draculae part 4: Transformation
Allusionist 230. Draculae part 4: Transformation

Throughout the Draculae miniseries, about the Swedish and Icelandic translations of Dracula that played fast and loose with the original text, I've been wondering a couple of questions: why are cover versions of songs and remakes of films so normal and acceptable, whereas cover versions in book form cause such a stir? And do these Scandinavian Draculae count as fan fiction? And if not, why not? Fansplaining.com's Elizabeth Minkel explains what fan fiction can mean.

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Allusionist 229. Draculae part 3: Hunting Down the Count
Allusionist 229. Draculae part 3: Hunting Down the Count

Many mysteries accompany the revelations that Powers of Darkness, the Icelandic and Swedish versions of Dracula, are not direct translations of Bram Stoker's original, but stories that significantly differ in character names, plot and runtime. Like: did Bram Stoker write it himself, to publish some raunchy content that British censors would forbid? Was Powers of Darkness based on his early drafts? And did he really not copyright Dracula in the USA was that a deliberate ruse? Welllll... brace yourself for ole thrill-destroyer Zaltzman to pop your balloons of excitement.

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Allusionist 228. Draculae part 2: Surprises in the Vaults
Allusionist 228. Draculae part 2: Surprises in the Vaults

Happy World Dracula Day to all who celebrate!

This is the second episode of the Draculae miniseries, about a literary mystery which came to me via a meme: “Someone translated Dracula into Icelandic, and it took over 100 years for anyone to point out he just made a fanfic rewrite of what he wanted the story to be.”

In Draculae part 2, Ásgeir Jónsson explains how he got that Icelandic adaptation of Dracula back into print, to little fanfare - but then Dutch scholar Hans Corneel de Roos set about making an English translation. Following that: like me, Will Trimble also got meme-struck, and that propelled him to get a translation of the Swedish version that begat the Icelandic one.

Before listening to this, check out the first episode of the Draculae miniseries explaining the three versions of Dracula: Dracula published by Bram Stoker in 1897; the Icelandic version Makt Myrkranna by newspaper editor Valdimar Ásmundsson, serialised in his newspaper Fyallkonan in 1900-1901; and the Swedish version Mörkrets makter by an author known only as A—e, and serialised in a couple of Swedish newspapers 1899-1900.

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Allusionist 227. Draculae part 1: Enter the Castle
Allusionist 227. Draculae part 1: Enter the Castle

A literary mystery came to me via a meme.

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Allusionist 226. Suburbia
Allusionist 226. Suburbia

"The word ‘suburbia’ sort of evokes a very fixed idea of a place that is identikit, that all suburbs are the same, that within the suburb everything is the same, that all people are the same, all experiences are the same," says social historian and author John Grindrod. "I think it has this kind of flattening-out facility, that word, that isn't true."

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Allusionist 225. Hues
Allusionist 225. Hues

You know what's an absolutely pesky kind of word to define in a dictionary? Colour names. A passel of lexicographers spent years - decades, even - trying different ways to describe colours in words for Webster's Third International Dictionary. It was such a huge, complicated effort that it took twelve years for former Merriam-Webster lexicographer Kory Stamper to write a book about it.

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Allusionist 224. Cosmic Hairball
Allusionist 224. Cosmic Hairball

Pack your oxygen tank, we're going up to space. There’s a lot of etymology up there.

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Allusionist 223. Bonus 2025
Allusionist 223. Bonus 2025
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Allusionist 222. A Christmas Carol
Allusionist 222. A Christmas Carol

Today, we read the novelisation of The Muppet Christmas Carol, also known as the 1843 festive lit hit A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens.

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Creative Commons Licence
The Allusionist by Helen Zaltzman is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.