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The Allusionist

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A PODCAST ABOUT LANGUAGE
BY HELEN ZALTZMAN

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The Allusionist

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Allusionist 213. Four Letter Words: Dino

July 21, 2025 The Allusionist
A Boggle grid spelling out the word 'dino'. Two small toy dinosaurs are peeking in from the sides

The latest four letter word of Four Letter Word season is dino. 'Dinosaur' is derived from Greek 'terrible lizard', and they could have called it 'whopping great lizard' or 'sublime lizard' or 'hey cool lizard', but no. TERRIBLE.

Professor Hannah McGregor of Material Girls podcast and author of the book Clever Girl: Jurassic Park explains humans' relationship with language for dinosaurs, and why 'terrible' might be a perfect choice.

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In episodes, Four Letter Words Tags etymology, lexicon, society, culture, words, language, history, vocabulary, four letter words, dino, dinosaurs, palaeontology, fossils, Jurassic Park, Michael Crichton, films, movies, 19th century, awe, Crystal Palace, parks, Victorians, museums, Latin, Greek, T-rex, sublime, taxonomy, semantics, terrible, nature, natural history, ancient, extinct, bones, creatures, animals, reptiles, lizards, plesiosaur, geology, zoos, safaris, spectacle, spectacular, discomfort, Richard Owen, Benjamin Waterhouse Hawkins, Henry Fairfield Osborn, Bone Wars, Othniel Charles Marsh, Edward Drinker Cope, categories, categorising, apatosaurus, athanor, brontosaurus, deinonychus, dinosaur, mastodon, megalosaurus, tyrannosaurus, tyrant, velociraptor, dynamoterror, lizard, naming, names, nipples, teeth, nipple teeth, claws, pentaceratops, triceratops, Oedipus, eugenics, Alberta, Canada, Prince Albert, Queen Victoria, Princess Louise, vagina dentata, Hannah McGregor
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Tranquillusionist: Ex-Constellations

September 26, 2024 The Allusionist

This is the Tranquillusionist, in which I, Helen Zaltzman, give your brain a break by temporarily supplanting your interior monologue with words that don't make you feel feelings. Note: this is NOT a normal episode of the Allusionist, where you might learn something about language and your brain might be stimulated. The Tranquillusionist's purpose is to soothe your brain and for you to learn very little, except for something about Zeus's attitude to bad drivers.

Today: constellations that got demoted into ex-constellations. Featuring airborne pregnancy, cats of the skies, and one of the 18th century's most unpopular multi-hyphenates.

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In episodes, Tranquillusionist Tags etymology, vocabulary, history, serene, serenity, ASMR, calm, calmness, meditation, sleep, mood, Tranquillusionist, relaxation, tranquil, tranquillity, stars, sky, firmament, celestial, Ptolemy, asterism, IAU, International Astronomical Union, Hadrian, dogs, technology, printing press, Gutenberg, Uranus, William Hershel, Johann Bode, Zeus, goats, crabs, myth, Greek myth, Ancient Rome, Romans, Latin, Greek, gods, deities, saints, relics, Saint Veronica, Jesus, Ancient Greece, astronomy, astronomers, Cerberus, John Hill, Henry Fielding, beeves, beef, feuds, Jerome Lalande, cats, sycophancy, royals, monarchy, monarchs, King Charles II, Prussia, King George III, King Charles I, scepters, sceptres, slugs, login, log line, log book, worms, constellations, asterisms, Phaeton, Helios, Hercules, reindeer, Mapertuis, Alessandro Volta, Jacques Cassini, Capra, Titans, telescopes, Maximilian Hell, conception, pregnancy, navigation, pangolin, ventifact, space, space words

Allusionist 179: Andy Quiz

August 10, 2023 The Allusionist
a boggle grid spelling out the words Andy Quiz

It's the annual etymology quizlusionist! I’m on a family holiday for the first time since 1988, so enlisted my brother Andy Zaltzman of the Bugle podcast to test his/your wits on singing goats, explosives, mythological Greek sweeteners, attics, left-handedness and whales.

Can you beat Andy’s score? Play along using the interactive scoresheet at the bottom of this post.

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In episodes, quiz Tags words, language, quiz, cows, ox, bovine, animals, Greek, Ancient Greek, Greece, Old English, Latin, classic, Proto-Indo-European, bucolic, butane, butter, gwou, vows, run, running, car, carriage, goats, goat song, caprine, John Oliver, comedy, explosives, explosions, Alfred Nobel, eponyms, ballistite, crying, weeping, left handed, right handed, sinister, right, Attis, cricket, sweeteners, myths, Thebes, Maenads, Bacchae, Euripides, saccharine, whales, kaboom, bang, applause, Kent, architecture, trivium, quadrivium, Dionysus, hockey, agave, baleen, boom, bugle, buttocks, careen, career, deplore, dynamite, explode, explore, jetton, left, profession, tragedy, trivia, whale penises

Allusionist 178. Uranus

June 22, 2023 The Allusionist

Have you ever wondered why the planets in our solar system are all named after Roman deities, except two of them? One of those exceptions is Earth. The other is Uranus.

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In episodes Tags history, words, language, etymology, space, planets, Uranus, solar system, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Neptune, Caelus, Pluto, Earth, astronomy, astronomers, Johann Bode, William Herschel, Georgian, George III, King George III, Nevil Maskelyne, galaxy, space words, Latin, Ancient Greek, deities, gods, goddesses, Gaia, Cronus, Titans, Furies, Hecatoncheires, Cyclopses, Giants, Nymphs, Ourania Aphrodite, sky, rain, rainmaker, Sanskrit, urine, myths, legends, songs, music, names, naming, International Astronomical Union, orbit, comet, apport, Martin Austwick

Allusionist 172. A Brief History of Brazilian Portuguese

March 9, 2023 The Allusionist

"The myths, or the received wisdom, about Portuguese language in Brazil is that, of course we know we speak a very different version of the language, but this has always been explained to us as maybe perhaps a defect of sorts?" says linguist and translator Caetano Galindo, author of Latim em Pó, a history of Brazilian Portuguese. "You look deeper into things and you find you have to wrap your mind around a very different reality.”

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In episodes Tags words, language, linguistics, education, society & culture, arts, literature, lexicon, vocabulary, history, telling other stories, Caetano Galindo, Brazil, Brasileiro, Brazilian, Portuguese, Portugal, Black history, slavery, enslaved African people, Transatlantic slave trade, slave owners, white supremacy, indigenous languages, línguas gerais, lingua franca, oppressed languages, South America, Latin, colonisation, Nheengatu, Caetano Veloso, ladino, locorestive

Allusionist 160. Coward

September 9, 2022 The Allusionist

“Anxiety is the parrot sidekick that rides on my shoulder and occasionally squawks warnings in my ear,” says Tim Clare, poet and podcaster and author of the book Coward: Why We Get Anxious & What We Can Do About It. We talk about anxiety, cowardice, magic bullets vs silver bullets, the scary Bible, and seagulls.

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In episodes Tags words, language, linguistics, education, comedy, society & culture, arts, literature, lexicon, vocabulary, etymology, history, entertainment, psychology, personality, mental health, Tim Clare, coward, cowardice, anxiety, anxious, fear, tail, lions, heraldry, angst, anger, military, WW1, First World War, executions, death, soldiers, Britain, shell shock, shame, PTSD, trauma, Napoleon III, India, Raj, seagulls, Proto-Indo-European, PIE, Ancient Greek, Latin, cows, dogs, traits, terrific, awesome, tremendous, Bible, angels, magic bullet, silver bullet, werewolves, medical, zauberkugel, Magneto, coda, cue, hangnail, queue, quinsy, quakebuttock, yips

Allusionist 159. Bufflusionist

August 19, 2022 The Allusionist

Grab your stake and crucifix pendant, we're going vampire-hunting! Well, vampire-etymology-hunting. The podcast Buffering the Vampire Slayer, which recaps the TV show Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode by episode, invited me to answer their listeners' questions of language that the show had provoked. Together with BVTS hosts Kristin Russo and Jenny Owen Youngs, I tackle the etymology of coven, vampire/vampyre, wigging out, the name Buffy and Bovril; as well as google as a verb, conlang on TV, and why Latin is so often the language of spells and spookiness.

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In episodes Tags etymology, history, entertainment, Buffering the Vampire Slayer, Jenny Owen Youngs, Kristin Russo, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Buffy Summers, Sarah Michelle Gellar, slang, Joss Whedon, television, TV, teenage, USA, 1990s, 2000s, 1600s, 1300s, 1950s, vampires, weaving, Slaymaker, Latin, nicknames, hellmouth, Christianity, Catholicism, religion, witches, spells, magic, covens, nuns, monks, science, alchemy, occult, plagues, alewives, beer, misogyny, Margaret Murray, wigs, wiggins, flip your wig, headcount, hair, wigpicker, nominalisation, verbs, nouns, generic, Google, googling, brand names, cricket, truckers, military, radio, My So-Called Life, vampyre, Serbia, vampire epidemics, conlang, constructed languages, David J Peterson, Dothraki, Valyrian, Game of Thrones, Klingon, Yulish, Icelandic, beef, liquid beef, meat, git, Napoleon III, food, cows, Victorians, inventions, Edward Bulwer-Lytton, novels, science fiction, fantasy, 5x5, Bovril, Buffy, coven, Elizabeth, grilse, killer, slayer, vampire, wigging out

Allusionist 158. Creature Quiz!

August 5, 2022 The Allusionist

There's lots of fun etymology of creatures and a lot of fun etymology derived from creatures, and now it is gathered into this fun playalong quiz about animal etymologies!

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In audio, quiz Tags words, language, linguistics, education, comedy, entertainment, society & culture, literature, Helen Zaltzman, history, lexicon, vocabulary, culture, arts, etymology, quiz, meatus, animals, creatures, fish, birds, beasts, magpie, Margaret, pie, pica, sexism, Latin, Greek, Old English, parrot, Italian, priest, piebald, skewbald, bald, camelopard, offend, elephant, raccoon, chicken pox, chickens, cowardice, pox, goose barnacles, geese, goose, barnacles, myths, squirrel, cattle, weasel, smell, stinky, ferret, eggs, manure, porpoise, shrews, beshrew, agriculture, poop, dung, bison, polecats, weasel words, chattel, property, real estate, fee, livestock, petunia, penis, genitals, bowels

Allusionist 143. Hedge Rider

October 13, 2021 The Allusionist
A143 Hedge Rider logo.jpeg

Today it's the etymologies you requested! And a few you didn't! We've got witches, wizards, warlocks; conjurers and cloves; wood shavings, nice gone nasty, and a whole lot more. Plus, a bold method of scaring away a ghost, if you must.

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In episodes Tags words, language, linguistics, education, comedy, entertainment, society & culture, arts, literature, etymology, lexicon, vocabulary, history, Halloween, Latin, Greek, paganism, religion, Christianity, hedges, herbs, wood shavings, wood wool, wood, wicca, products, blunders, fish hook, names, exte berri, Basque, saints, garlic, spices, cloves, science, nescience, Leo Durocher, sportsball, seed, sexism, ghosts, demons, execution, Iceland, witches, God, zero, aught, buzzard, cauldron, clove, clumsy, conjure, craft, crone, drycræft, excelsior, exorcism, fact, gaff, gaffe, grimoire, hag, haggard, Harvey, hedge, hedge witch, Javier, magic, naught, naughty, nice, nice guys finish last, nought, ought, popple, semen, seminal, seminary, sorcerer, supernatural, wicked, witch, wizard, Xavier, legerdemain, hawks

Allusionist 121. No Title

September 14, 2020 The Allusionist
The Allusionist No Title poster colours.jpg

In 2014, a seemingly trivial and boring incident at the bank propelled me down a linguistic road via medieval werewolves, Ms Marvel and confusingly inscribed gravestones, to find out why the English language is riddled with all this gender. What’s it FOR? How did it GET there? Will it go AWAY now please? It is, at the very least, taking up brainspace and not paying any rent.

This is a recording of a live performance at the Blueberry Hill Duck Room in St Louis, Missouri on 23 November 2019, and there were visuals happening, so I’ll drop in sometimes to explain them, and I’ve also put a transcript and pictures in this post.

There are swears in this. There are also arguments that will be very useful to you if you ever come up against a denier of singular they. You will definitely win.

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In live recording, episodes Tags words, language, linguistics, education, comedy, entertainment, society & culture, arts, literature, Helen Zaltzman, etymology, lexicon, vocabulary, live show, live recording, performance, No Title, gender, sex, identity, pronouns, titles, singular they, they, non-conforming, fluid, rank, hierarchy, marriage, social status, status, aristocracy, doctor, doctorate, Latin, Ms, Mrs, Master, Mister, Mr, Dr, Mx, ip, gender neutral, gender free, gender neutral pronouns, gender free pronouns, Ms Magazine, Ms Marvel, Sheila Michaels, feminism, feminists, tombstones, graves, gravestones, Downton Abbey, William and the Werewolf, medieval, Italian, Italy, signora, signorina, Frau, Fräulein, mademoiselle, madame, Académie Française, Mondamoiseau, Z, Mre, Russian, Russia, manners, politeness, etiquette, seamtress, seamster, manhole, you, ey, Martin Austwick
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Allusionist 233. Phobia
Allusionist 233. Phobia

'Phobia' gets used for anything from a mild aversion to a debilitating anxiety response to various forms of bigotry. Deboki Chakravarti and Sam Jones of the podcast Tiny Matters join to consider the term from its comedic origins with one of the founding fathers of the USA, via rabies and Greek deities, to its role in their lives today.

CONTENT NOTE: we’re not trying to stoke anyone’s phobias, but we do discuss some common phobia-inducers, including snakes, germs and small holes, and there’s a brief mention of tarantulas. There’s also talk about OCD and rabies.

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Allusionist 232. Vega
Allusionist 232. Vega

What do you call yourself if you're a part-time vegetarian? What petty linguistic things would you change? And what do you do if people gripe at you if you say that you are bi or pan? To answer these questions from the Allusionist mailbag are esteemed alumsionists: Hrishikesh Hirway and Samin Nosrat of Home Cooking podcast; academic and author Alex Ketchum; lexicographer Kory Stamper; and linguist Lauren Gawne of Lingthusiasm podcast.

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Tranquillusionist: cheesy cheesybobs
Tranquillusionist: cheesy cheesybobs

This is the Tranquillusionist, in which I, Helen Zaltzman, say a series of words to relax your mind, replace a hectic interior monologue, maybe lull you to sleep, hopefully quell the mental uproar just for a little while.

Today: nicknames for woodlice AKA rolypoly bugs AKA slaters AKA all these other things; and a list of cheeses from Great Britain and Ireland.

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78AF926C-7878-4567-A87F-13CFF415B647_1_105_c.jpeg
sorry lads, we're getting bad ads

TL;DR version:

  • For the show's financial survival (hopefully), over the next few weeks I'm having to switch on programmatic advertisements. This means, for the first time in the show's nearly 12-year existence, you may be subjected to ads that are not voiced, scripted and individually approved by me.

  • If you would prefer to listen to the show without ads in it, patreonise the show at the Gravy, Wedge or Check tiers, which include the perk of an ad-free RSS feed.

Click through to read the rest of the post about why I’m doing this thing I don’t want to do.

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Allusionist 231. Lingthusionist
Allusionist 231. Lingthusionist

“Linguistics and language is such a good mechanism for being curious,” says Lauren Gawne, linguistics prof, author of the book Gesture, and cohost of the podcast Lingthusiasm. I'm in vacation mode (although not on actual vacation alas), so today's episode is a fun chat with our nice pal about making language podcasts, the firey digestive punishments for linguistics researchers, working in reality television, and cute tame nouns versus scary intimidating verbs.

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Allusionist 230. Draculae part 4: Transformation
Allusionist 230. Draculae part 4: Transformation

Throughout the Draculae miniseries, about the Swedish and Icelandic translations of Dracula that played fast and loose with the original text, I've been wondering a couple of questions: why are cover versions of songs and remakes of films so normal and acceptable, whereas cover versions in book form cause such a stir? And do these Scandinavian Draculae count as fan fiction? And if not, why not? Fansplaining.com's Elizabeth Minkel explains what fan fiction can mean.

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Allusionist 229. Draculae part 3: Hunting Down the Count
Allusionist 229. Draculae part 3: Hunting Down the Count

Many mysteries accompany the revelations that Powers of Darkness, the Icelandic and Swedish versions of Dracula, are not direct translations of Bram Stoker's original, but stories that significantly differ in character names, plot and runtime. Like: did Bram Stoker write it himself, to publish some raunchy content that British censors would forbid? Was Powers of Darkness based on his early drafts? And did he really not copyright Dracula in the USA was that a deliberate ruse? Welllll... brace yourself for ole thrill-destroyer Zaltzman to pop your balloons of excitement.

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Allusionist 228. Draculae part 2: Surprises in the Vaults
Allusionist 228. Draculae part 2: Surprises in the Vaults

Happy World Dracula Day to all who celebrate!

This is the second episode of the Draculae miniseries, about a literary mystery which came to me via a meme: “Someone translated Dracula into Icelandic, and it took over 100 years for anyone to point out he just made a fanfic rewrite of what he wanted the story to be.”

In Draculae part 2, Ásgeir Jónsson explains how he got that Icelandic adaptation of Dracula back into print, to little fanfare - but then Dutch scholar Hans Corneel de Roos set about making an English translation. Following that: like me, Will Trimble also got meme-struck, and that propelled him to get a translation of the Swedish version that begat the Icelandic one.

Before listening to this, check out the first episode of the Draculae miniseries explaining the three versions of Dracula: Dracula published by Bram Stoker in 1897; the Icelandic version Makt Myrkranna by newspaper editor Valdimar Ásmundsson, serialised in his newspaper Fyallkonan in 1900-1901; and the Swedish version Mörkrets makter by an author known only as A—e, and serialised in a couple of Swedish newspapers 1899-1900.

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Allusionist 227. Draculae part 1: Enter the Castle
Allusionist 227. Draculae part 1: Enter the Castle

A literary mystery came to me via a meme.

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Allusionist 226. Suburbia
Allusionist 226. Suburbia

"The word ‘suburbia’ sort of evokes a very fixed idea of a place that is identikit, that all suburbs are the same, that within the suburb everything is the same, that all people are the same, all experiences are the same," says social historian and author John Grindrod. "I think it has this kind of flattening-out facility, that word, that isn't true."

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Allusionist 225. Hues
Allusionist 225. Hues

You know what's an absolutely pesky kind of word to define in a dictionary? Colour names. A passel of lexicographers spent years - decades, even - trying different ways to describe colours in words for Webster's Third International Dictionary. It was such a huge, complicated effort that it took twelve years for former Merriam-Webster lexicographer Kory Stamper to write a book about it.

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Allusionist 224. Cosmic Hairball
Allusionist 224. Cosmic Hairball

Pack your oxygen tank, we're going up to space. There’s a lot of etymology up there.

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Allusionist 223. Bonus 2025
Allusionist 223. Bonus 2025
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Allusionist 222. A Christmas Carol
Allusionist 222. A Christmas Carol

Today, we read the novelisation of The Muppet Christmas Carol, also known as the 1843 festive lit hit A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens.

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The Allusionist by Helen Zaltzman is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.