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The Allusionist

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A PODCAST ABOUT LANGUAGE
BY HELEN ZALTZMAN

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The Allusionist

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Allusionist 211. Four Letter Words: -gate

June 23, 2025 The Allusionist
A boggle grid spelling out the word 'gate'

The other day was the 53rd anniversary of the break-in at the Watergate Hotel, which not only caused a lot of political uproar, it had a big linguistic legacy: the suffix -gate to mean a scandal.

Today, as part of Four Letter Word season, we have a list of -gates - royal, sporting, political, food, showbiz - it's a non-exhaustive list because there are so many, and new ones are being spawned all the time. Content warning for all sorts of bad human behaviour.

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In episodes, Four Letter Words Tags society, culture, words, language, arts, history, vocabulary, four letter words, snowclone, libfix, suffixes, scandal, Watergate Hotel, Watergate Complex, Watergate Scandal, Washington DC, Watergate, Richard Nixon, Foggy Bottom, Mr Blobby, Blobbyland, England, Noel Edmonds, theme parks, politics, food, entertainment, sport, sports, wine, football, soccer, corruption, curling, butter, Ariana Grande, Royal Family, monarchy, King Charles III, Princess Diana, Queen Camilla, Prince Charles, Sarah Ferguson, Fergie, meats, tabloids, headlines, newspapers, media, Australia, Tony Abbott, Theresa May, onions, David Cameron, Boris Johnson, Mumsnet, biscuits, Mauritius, Macarena, Aotearoa New Zealand, Canada, Ireland, Argentina, Venezuela, Denmark, mink, Panama Papers, UK Government, Downing Street, prime minister, covid, coronavirus, lockdown, police, doughnuts, donuts, Nutella, Quebec, French, pasta, pasties, chess, blood, rugby, fake, NFL, balls, farts, crime, Gamergate, gaming, baseball, GBBO, Great British Bake Off, Baked Alaska, ice cream, TV, television, Academy Awards, Oscars, Moonlight, Janet Jackson, Justin Timberlake, Chicago, Super Bowl, poop, radio, Harry Styles, spit, Chris Pine, politicians, zwitterion, gate, -gate
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Allusionist 125. Swearalong Quiz

November 10, 2020 The Allusionist
A125 swearalong quiz logo.jpg

Fill your lungs and get ready to shout out some profane answers: it’s the Swearlusionist Swearalong Quiz! Every answer is a swear word. Swearing, as we know, is good for your health, plus helps vent stress, and you’ll learn many etymological facts along the way, so this is a very wholesome and educational quiz.

CONTENT NOTE: this episode contains swears. Surprise!

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In episodes, quiz Tags words, language, linguistics, education, comedy, entertainment, society & culture, arts, literature, etymology, lexicon, vocabulary, swearing, swears, profanity, Bible, court cases, law, legal, Sex Pistols, Never Mind The Bollocks, indecency, bollocks, shit, spunk, balls, ball, lalochezia, The Wolf of Wall Street, birds, films, movies, poets, bullshit, TS Eliot, twat, Robert Browning, piss, dandelion, plants, flowers, nature, botany, ornithology, cocks, rooster, knobweed, mountains, Wank mountain, guns, kestrels, windfucker, herons, shitepoke, geography, place names, Twatt, Crapstone, crap, Shitterton, Thomas Crapper, drabble, quiz, swear words

Allusionist 81. Shark Week

July 27, 2018 The Allusionist
A81 Shark Week logo.jpg

What is the expression 'beyond the pale' on about? How do you express the absence of feeling? Does 'testify' have anything to do with testicles? Do avocados have anything to do with testicles? How does the phrase "It's all Greek to me" relate to food styling? Can you have a caper with capers? Are sharks misunderstood, etymologically and morally? And finally: where do allusions come from?

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In episodes Tags Radiotopian guest appearance, The Beatles, indifference, emotions, nouns, verbs, adjectives, beyond the pale, phrases, sayings, ghetto, pale, impale, fences, Irish Pale, Russian Pale, Calais Pale, oppression, Jews, mood, ambivalence, testicles, balls, crotch, genitals, law, swearing, witness, testify, testis, ovaries, legal system, etymology, anatomy, Latin, Greek, ancient languages, Bible, supplication, stones, nuts, eggs, slang, avocados, Spanish, onomatopoeia, cinnamon, food, food styling, food stylists, brands, Chinese, it’s all Greek to me, typography, scribes, writing, placeholder, goats, capers, capering, foodstuffs, caprice, caprine, G.O.A.T., sharks, sea creatures, fish, Jaws, Mayan, xoc, German, sea-dog, dogs, loan shark, allusion, allude, Hrishikesh Hirway, Song Exploder, The West Wing Weekly, words, history, language, linguistics, expressions, Italian, Serena Williams, goatmilker

Allusionist 21: Eponyms I: The Ballad of Bic and Biro

October 14, 2015 The Allusionist
Bic Biro Boggle board.png

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Naming something after yourself: a grand display of egomania, or the humble willingness to be overshadowed by your own product?

Stationery expert James Ward tells the tale of the people who begat the eponymous ballpoint pens Bic and Biro, because, according to 99% Invisible's Roman Mars, "When it comes to word origins, an eponym is the shortest bet you’re going to get a good story out of it."

ADDITIONAL READING:

  • Eponyms are swarming all over the place! Particularly when it comes to medical terms, about which there are lots of good little stories about the latter at Whonamedit? Looks like some of those eponymizers are very high achievers.

  • You can read James Ward's delightful book Adventures in Stationery (AKA The Perfection of the Paperclip in some territories), and/or you can read about James Ward and his book to whet your appetite.

  • Learn more about Thomas 'Bowdlerization' Bowdler. Also listener Mededitor shared this post about bowdlerized Shakespeare.

  • Here's a brief history of pens; here's a slightly longer history of pens; and here's the picture dictionary version of the corporate history of Bic.

  • Here's a transcript of this episode.

  • Here's Roman's tweet that started this whole thing.

If you were creating an eponymous product, what would it be? Mine would be something which doesn't work until the very last minute, just before you throw it away in frustration.

RANDOMLY SELECTED WORD FROM THE DICTIONARY:
jacquerie

CREDITS:

  • Roman Mars is El Groso of 99% Invisible. Find him at twitter.com/romanmars, and 99% Invisible at 99pi.org.

  • James Ward is El Groso of Boring Conference. Find him at twitter.com/iamjamesward.com and at iamjamesward.com. And in case you've already forgotten from where I linked to it above, you can buy his book Adventures in Stationery.

  • This episode was produced by me, Helen Zaltzman. Thanks to Martin Austwick for the music and editorial help, and to Seth and Alison for letting me and Roman record in their Wendy House.

  • Communicate with me at facebook.com/allusionistshow, twitter.com/allusionistshow and twitter.com/helenzaltzman.

Come back in a week's time for the next special edition of The Allusionist. If you don't, I'll borrow your pen and not return it.

- HZ

In episodes Tags James Ward, Roman Mars, pens, pencils, words, Bic, Biro, Marcel Bich, Laszlo Biro, Argentina, balls, history, writing, ink, ball bearings, writing implements, handwriting, eponyms, penis, silhouette, Thomas Bowdler, bowdlerization, Macbeth, Shakespeare, stories, brands, Adventures in Stationery, office supplies, Milton Reynolds, Bic Crystal, jacquerie, inventions, aviation, Latin, feathers, cuneiform, script, papyrus, parchment, vellum, quill, quills, naming, names, disease
9 Comments

Allusionist 10: Election Lexicon

May 6, 2015 The Allusionist
Election Lexicon Boggle board.png

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On the eve of the 2015 General Election in the UK, join me for a jaunt through the etymology of election-related words.

Find out why casting a vote should be more like basketball, how debating could descend into fisticuffs, and why polling is hairy.

FURTHER READING:

  • Producer Matt and I went out in a high wind with a megaphone to record at the place for shouting about politics through a megaphone: Speakers' Corner in Hyde Park. Here's a brief history of Speakers' Corner, where people have been blowing high wind through megaphones for more than a century.

  • For those who insist upon continuing to do their campaigning indoors, here's a potted history of lobbying in the US.

  • I only briefly mentioned the origins of the Tories' name: it has a very knotty history. Read more about that here.

  • Swingometer fans! Thanks to the BBC, here're some archive videos and pictures of swingometers through history.

  • Here is the transcript of this episode.

RANDOMLY SELECTED WORD FROM THE DICTIONARY:
pismire

See you in a fortnight, unless etymologocracy wins the day and I'm too drunk on power to make this show.

- HZ

CREDITS

  • This episode was produced by me, Helen Zaltzman, with megaphone assitance from Matt Hill. Matt tweets as @virtualmatthill and makes numerous podcasts and apps, including Spark London and the Media Podcast. Find more of his work at rethinkdaily.co.uk.

  • All the music is by Martin Austwick. Hear more of it at http://thesoundoftheladies.bandcamp.com/.

  • Find me at facebook.com/allusionistshow, twitter.com/allusionistshow and twitter.com/helenzaltzman.


So goddamn windy that day. The campaign trail is more challenging than I had expected.

In episodes Tags words, language, etymology, politics, elections, General Election, history, Tories, Tory, Conservatives, party, parties, Conservative Party, British, government, lobby, lobbying, The Tasting Room, French, Old French, Proto-Indo-European, democracy, poll, voting, ballot, balls, polling, Middle English, hair, etymologocracy, pismire
2 Comments

Allusionist 4: Detonating the C-Bomb

February 11, 2015 The Allusionist

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WARNING: this episode is full of FOUL PROFANE LANGUAGE. I suggest you don't listen to it through loudspeakers at a christening.

Today I'm trying to figure out why 'cunt' is considered to be a ruder swear word than others like 'twat' which mean the same thing, or male equivalents like 'dick' and 'knob'. A few hundred years ago, cunt was sufficiently not-rude that there were streets named Gropecunt Lane in most of Britain's major market towns; yet now, it is top tier of the hierarchy of offensiveness. But maybe in another few hundred years, it will have been supplanted by 'swear word' or 'Jeff'. Find out why: listen now via iTunes, miscellaneous podcast directories, or RSS.

SUPPLEMENTARY ENTERTAINMENT:

  • If you enjoyed hearing about Gropecunt Lane, then I'm sure you'll like the triumphant tale of Tickle Cock Bridge.

  • There's a very interesting discussion of 'bloody' and other religious swear words on episode 44 of the brilliant podcast No Such Thing As A Fish.

  • Study TS Eliot's poem 'The Triumph of Bullshit'.

  • See Eve Ensler perform The Vagina Monologues.

  • Worried about whether to spell bellend 'bellend', 'bell-end' or 'bell end'? The editor of the Sunday Sport has the definitive answer.

RANDOMLY SELECTED WORD OF THE DAY:
maskinonge

Share your thoughts with me at facebook.com/allusionistshow and twitter.com/allusionistshow.

- HZ

CREDITS

  • Presented and produced by Helen Zaltzman.

  • Leon Wilson helms such bawdy television shows as Celebrity Juice.

  • Jane Garvey uses only the most fragrant language when she presents Woman's Hour on BBC Radio 4. Her range of cockwipes will be in stores soon.

  • Thanks to all the people who contributed their rudest swear word, including the good people of Maximum Fun, but especially Tom Jenkinson's mum.

In episodes Tags language, etymology, words, bullshit, fuck, cunt, profanity, swear words, swearing, obscenities, TS Eliot, Wyndham Lewis, Ezra Pound, television, TV, Celebrity Juice, twat, Jane Garvey, Leon Wilson, ITV, cockwipes, cock, euphemisms, genitalia, motherfucker, offense, offensive language, naughty words, EXPLICIT, The Triumph of Bullshit, Blast, women, genitals, misogyny, feminine hygiene, place names, street names, Gropecunt Lane, sex, bodies, bodily, body, religion, God, Jeff, testicles, balls, bollocks, knob
9 Comments
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Allusionist 235. Trevor
Allusionist 235. Trevor

"I just thought: I wonder if I could get guys called Trevor to reclaim the name?" says Trevor Cunningham. "So I went on LinkedIn and I just looked for Trevors, and I started contacting them." And, having found way more Trevors than he had ever met in his life, Trevor set up AskTrev.com, a site where people can get advice for free from people named Trevor. Such as engineer Trevor Murphy, who explains why he joined this society of Trevors.

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Allusionist 234. No Names
Allusionist 234. No Names

Alexinomia is the aversion to saying people's names. Psychologist Thomas Ditye explains what it means to have this condition - in some cases not even saying your spouse's name during 25 years of marriage - and the research he and colleague Lisa Welleschick are doing to learn more about it.

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Allusionist 233. Phobia
Allusionist 233. Phobia

'Phobia' gets used for anything from a mild aversion to a debilitating anxiety response to various forms of bigotry. Deboki Chakravarti and Sam Jones of the podcast Tiny Matters join to consider the term from its comedic origins with one of the founding fathers of the USA, via rabies and Greek deities, to its role in their lives today.

CONTENT NOTE: we’re not trying to stoke anyone’s phobias, but we do discuss some common phobia-inducers, including snakes, germs and small holes, and there’s a brief mention of tarantulas. There’s also talk about OCD and rabies.

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Allusionist 232. Vega
Allusionist 232. Vega

What do you call yourself if you're a part-time vegetarian? What petty linguistic things would you change? And what do you do if people gripe at you if you say that you are bi or pan? To answer these questions from the Allusionist mailbag are esteemed alumsionists: Hrishikesh Hirway and Samin Nosrat of Home Cooking podcast; academic and author Alex Ketchum; lexicographer Kory Stamper; and linguist Lauren Gawne of Lingthusiasm podcast.

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Tranquillusionist: cheesy cheesybobs
Tranquillusionist: cheesy cheesybobs

This is the Tranquillusionist, in which I, Helen Zaltzman, say a series of words to relax your mind, replace a hectic interior monologue, maybe lull you to sleep, hopefully quell the mental uproar just for a little while.

Today: nicknames for woodlice AKA rolypoly bugs AKA slaters AKA all these other things; and a list of cheeses from Great Britain and Ireland.

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78AF926C-7878-4567-A87F-13CFF415B647_1_105_c.jpeg
sorry lads, we're getting bad ads

TL;DR version:

  • For the show's financial survival (hopefully), over the next few weeks I'm having to switch on programmatic advertisements. This means, for the first time in the show's nearly 12-year existence, you may be subjected to ads that are not voiced, scripted and individually approved by me.

  • If you would prefer to listen to the show without ads in it, patreonise the show at the Gravy, Wedge or Check tiers, which include the perk of an ad-free RSS feed.

Click through to read the rest of the post about why I’m doing this thing I don’t want to do.

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Allusionist 231. Lingthusionist
Allusionist 231. Lingthusionist

“Linguistics and language is such a good mechanism for being curious,” says Lauren Gawne, linguistics prof, author of the book Gesture, and cohost of the podcast Lingthusiasm. I'm in vacation mode (although not on actual vacation alas), so today's episode is a fun chat with our nice pal about making language podcasts, the firey digestive punishments for linguistics researchers, working in reality television, and cute tame nouns versus scary intimidating verbs.

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Allusionist 230. Draculae part 4: Transformation
Allusionist 230. Draculae part 4: Transformation

Throughout the Draculae miniseries, about the Swedish and Icelandic translations of Dracula that played fast and loose with the original text, I've been wondering a couple of questions: why are cover versions of songs and remakes of films so normal and acceptable, whereas cover versions in book form cause such a stir? And do these Scandinavian Draculae count as fan fiction? And if not, why not? Fansplaining.com's Elizabeth Minkel explains what fan fiction can mean.

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Allusionist 229. Draculae part 3: Hunting Down the Count
Allusionist 229. Draculae part 3: Hunting Down the Count

Many mysteries accompany the revelations that Powers of Darkness, the Icelandic and Swedish versions of Dracula, are not direct translations of Bram Stoker's original, but stories that significantly differ in character names, plot and runtime. Like: did Bram Stoker write it himself, to publish some raunchy content that British censors would forbid? Was Powers of Darkness based on his early drafts? And did he really not copyright Dracula in the USA was that a deliberate ruse? Welllll... brace yourself for ole thrill-destroyer Zaltzman to pop your balloons of excitement.

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queer playlist
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Allusionist 228. Draculae part 2: Surprises in the Vaults
Allusionist 228. Draculae part 2: Surprises in the Vaults

Happy World Dracula Day to all who celebrate!

This is the second episode of the Draculae miniseries, about a literary mystery which came to me via a meme: “Someone translated Dracula into Icelandic, and it took over 100 years for anyone to point out he just made a fanfic rewrite of what he wanted the story to be.”

In Draculae part 2, Ásgeir Jónsson explains how he got that Icelandic adaptation of Dracula back into print, to little fanfare - but then Dutch scholar Hans Corneel de Roos set about making an English translation. Following that: like me, Will Trimble also got meme-struck, and that propelled him to get a translation of the Swedish version that begat the Icelandic one.

Before listening to this, check out the first episode of the Draculae miniseries explaining the three versions of Dracula: Dracula published by Bram Stoker in 1897; the Icelandic version Makt Myrkranna by newspaper editor Valdimar Ásmundsson, serialised in his newspaper Fyallkonan in 1900-1901; and the Swedish version Mörkrets makter by an author known only as A—e, and serialised in a couple of Swedish newspapers 1899-1900.

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Allusionist 227. Draculae part 1: Enter the Castle
Allusionist 227. Draculae part 1: Enter the Castle

A literary mystery came to me via a meme.

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Allusionist 226. Suburbia
Allusionist 226. Suburbia

"The word ‘suburbia’ sort of evokes a very fixed idea of a place that is identikit, that all suburbs are the same, that within the suburb everything is the same, that all people are the same, all experiences are the same," says social historian and author John Grindrod. "I think it has this kind of flattening-out facility, that word, that isn't true."

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Allusionist 225. Hues
Allusionist 225. Hues

You know what's an absolutely pesky kind of word to define in a dictionary? Colour names. A passel of lexicographers spent years - decades, even - trying different ways to describe colours in words for Webster's Third International Dictionary. It was such a huge, complicated effort that it took twelve years for former Merriam-Webster lexicographer Kory Stamper to write a book about it.

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Allusionist 224. Cosmic Hairball
Allusionist 224. Cosmic Hairball

Pack your oxygen tank, we're going up to space. There’s a lot of etymology up there.

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The Allusionist by Helen Zaltzman is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.