Listen to this episode via theallusionist.org/christmascarol.
This is the Allusionist, in which I, Helen Zaltzman, am today, for a change, reading the novelisation of The Muppet Christmas Carol, AKA A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens. Among the Festivelusionist episodes, which are gathered at theallusionist.org/festivelusionist, is one called How the Dickens Stole Christmas all about why so much of the 21st century Christmas is inflected by the 1843 novel A Christmas Carol, but, as you’ll hear here, it is still kind of a banger. Although, content warning: 200-year-old attitudes towards disability. Also warning for GHOSTS.
This was originally recorded in front of a live YouTube audience in December 2024, I read it on livestream over four days with scoring and additional vocals by house band Martin Austwick.
It means you will hear some page turns, sniffles, blunders. The video version is still available on youtube.com/allusionistshow so you can see Martin dancing away to his own music, also the swirly atmospheric backdrops. But here it is in handy audiobook form, I guess? We are available for voice jobs and scoring. Can you believe I don’t have a voice agent? I know, I know!
Support the show for as little as $2/month at theallusionist.org/donate and not only do you help fund the continuing existence of this independent podcast, but also you get regular livestreams with me, Martin and relaxing readings from my collection of reference books; you get written bonus content about the show; and you get membership of the Allusioverse Discord community where we have watched Muppet Christmas Carol together before and will again this year. We also have a Knives Out watchalong impending later this month. So get amongst it at theallusionist.org/donate. We’ve also got a nice gift guide going, where members of the Allusioverse are listing their creative output, and it’s really cool to see the things you make, and for you to check out each other’s things - it’s lovely.
On with A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens.
Well I’m not going to put a whole novel here unless I wrote it myself, but you can read A Christmas Carol over on Project Gutenberg.
You can also see the original livestreamed video version of this endeavour here.
That was A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens read by me, Helen Zaltzman, with music and sound effects and additional vocals by Martin Austwick. Hear his songs via palebirdmusic.com.
Hear more of me on a new episode of the ever-lovely podcast Home Cooking, hosted by alumsionists Hrishikesh Hirway and Samin Nosrat, that’s at homecooking.show and in the podplaces. Also, ‘tis the season to check out No Skip Christmas by Arnie Niekamp of Hello from the Magic Tavern. I’m a guest on it, talking about the British festive pop canon - it’s not like your American one, there’s a lot of glam rock.
Next up on the Allusionist: the annual parade of Bonus Bits! I love these episodes, which contain extra material from this year’s guests, stuff they said that was interesting but not language-related, or tangents that there wasn’t room for in their original episode: now we get to enjoy all that! Last year, for instance, we learned how to change a dog’s name so that the dog recognises it, what the negative sibling of the Placebo Effect is, and poetry about headaches. What will be in this year’s? Well, we had the Four-Letter Word Season, which furnished us with some sweary leftovers, so get ready.
Your randomly selected word from the dictionary today is…
uropygium, noun, zoology: the rump of a bird.
Try using ‘uropygium’ in an email today. And if you’re wondering how these words are spelled, I always put the whole dictionary entry up on the Allusionist website - there’s a post for every episode, and this is in there.
Our ad partner is Multitude. To sponsor this show, whereby I talk winningly and admiringly about your product or thing, get in touch with them at multitude.productions/ads.
Find me on instagram, facebook, YouTube @allusionistshow. And you can listen to or read every episode, get more information about the episode topics and people talking about them, and see the full dictionary entries for the randomly selected words, and browse a lexicon of every word discussed in the show and click through to listen to the episode about it, and become a member of the Allusioverse to help fund the show and be part of a community of very fine people, all at the show’s forever home theallusionist.org.
